Network 02 Tops and Flops

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 *Tops and Flops (Charthell)

 Just back from a megafight with the
 guardian-ships of the Treasure-Fleet
 anchoring infront of Havana I bring
 you a secret list of the most wanted
 Buccaneers and Smugglers.. ofcourse it
 is not the only thing we got capturing
 the Fleet... also tons of Gold are in
 our hands till we change 'em in a very
 large ammount of Rum-bottles and stuff
 like that..  but read on,Maniac !  -->
 As usual I wrote some words to the
 Names , you shouldn't take too hard,
 because they are meant as a little
 Joke-comment and NOT as an offence or
 even a War-declaration.. We actually
 have enough Trouble with some rotty
 Pirate-Hunters wanting our asses
 hanging infront of the Governors House
 ..but no Way !! We're too smart for
 this kind of seachilds..  we believe
 in Jolly Roger,Gold,Cannons and Swords
 ..so believe us ! According to the
 first Issue of our Pirate-Mag I have
 to mention,that we changed the charts
 again.. We took out those dull
 average-charts..  furthermore a big
 excuse to you for throwing the mail-
 bottles containing the mag overboard
 that late.. it was mainly caused by
 my lazyness. Mag-editors know how hard
 it is to keep counting all this Votes.
 I must thank PJD,Flim Flam and A-Bomp
 for doing this work for me. But now
 let's take a look at the secret list..
    The 10 most-wanted Cracking-crews
 +------------------------------------+
 | 1.  Legend********* V: 556   [.1]  |
 | 2.  Enigma......... V: 372   [.4]  |
 | 3.  Illusion....... V: 309   [NE]  |
 | 4.  Talent......... V: 189   [.2]  |
 | 5.  Dominators..... V: 179   [.3]  |
 | 6.  Image.......... V: 167   [.8]  |
 | 7.  Hysteric....... V: 161   [NE]  |
 | 8.  Arcade......... V: 126   [.6]  |
 : 9.  Chromance...... V: 125   [NE]  :
   10. Triad.......... V: 108   [.7]
 Still the LEGENDs rule the Cracking
 scene by a large margin.. but it's
 interesting to see some guys using
 their ILLUSIONs to get away from the
 TALENTed.
 Nothing against them..but is it really
 necessary to get HYSTERIC because some
 guys have a better IMAGE than others ?
 And if the CHROMANCErs go up like that
 they'll reach No1 and probably should
 rename to LUMINANCE because of their
 pride-shining heads.    Wiggle it..
        The hardest-10 Demo-Crews
 +------------------------------------+
 | 1.  Light********** V: 358   [.1]  |
 | 2.  Crest.......... V: 336   [.4]  |
 | 3.  Blackmail...... V: 285   [.3]  |
 | 4.  Flash inc...... V: 273   [.2]  |
 | 5.  Oxyron......... V: 229   [10]  |
 | 6.  Censor......... V: 207   [NE]  |
 | 7.  Fairlight...... V: 204   [.6]  |
 | 8.  Faces.......... V: 185   [.5]  |
 : 9.  Origo.......... V: 157   [.7]  :
   10. Offence........ V: 130   [NE]
 Seems the LIGHT-products will soon be
 captured and taken into the menu of
 "CREST-light menus inc."..
 BLACKMAIL really seems to BLACKMAIL
 the voters,as they are staying on the
 3rd place. The FLASH burnt the heads
 of some men too hard.. causing them
 to fall two places on place four.
 The Krombacher-light-beer-guys should
 be confused by Oxyrons Chart-attack,as
 another crew plans a Chart-OFFENCE too
 Attention:Faces slammed down 3 places!
     The TOP-10 Info-Bottles (Mags)
 +------------------------------------+
 | 1.  Brutal Recall** V: 631   [.1]  |
 | 2.  Script......... V: 602   [.2]  |
 | 3.  Shock.......... V: 374   [.3]  |
 | 4.  Internal....... V: 239   [.5]  |
 | 5.  Hotshot........ V: 224   [.4]  |
 | 6.  Addy-Book...... V: 214   [.6]  |
 | 7.  Corruption..... V: 133   [.8]  |
 | 8.  Update......... V: 130   [.9]  |
 : 9.  Bitmania....... V: 123   [.7]  :
   10. Genetic Dreams. V: 101   [NE]
 Although the BRUTAL-RECALLers tell
 that Script is the number-one,they're
 still ruling..strange,or what ?
 It seems messing around with
 Biological Tricks really makes sense,
 If you see some GENETIC DREAMerS
 appear on the tenth place.. reminds
 me to Ben Johnson,somehow.
 Mafia-methods,like CORRUPTIONs seem to
 work good aswell,as they were climbing
 one place to place seven.
 ... but look at the single men:
         +--------------------+
         |  The Top-5 Coders  |
         +--------------------+
   1.  Crossbow********  V: 154   [.3]
   2.  Zodiac..........  V: 138   [.1]
   3.  Flamingo........  V: 134   [.2]
   4.  Yabba...........  V:  83   [.5]
   5.  Glasnost........  V:  78   [Ne]

 Seems the guy with the CROSSBOW had
 success:He shot down the FLAMINGO to#3
 GLASNOST (Wodka) joined the charts..->
       +------------------------+
       | The raddest 5 Crackers |
       +------------------------+
   1.  Powerplant******  V: 180   [.1]
   2.  Doc.............  V:  82   [.2]
   3.  xxx.............  V:  77   [.4]
   4.  Bod.............  V:  74   [.3]
   5.  Chrysagon.......  V:  72   [Ne]

 CHRYSAGON starts a heavy attack on the
 charts,as an Analphabetist rised one
 place to kick BOD one place down..  ->
       +-------------------------+
       | The 5 best Flagpainters |
       +-------------------------+
   1.  Hein Holt*******  V: 130   [.1]
   2.  Ogami...........  V: 113   [.2]
   3.  Dragon..........  V:  77   [NE]
   4.  Creeper.........  V:  76   [.5]
   5.  Bizzmo..........  V:  60   [.3]

 Hot entry ! DRAGON burnt BIZZMOS ass
 to kick him to the last place,while a
 CREEPER creeps up in his direction.-->
        +----------------------+
        | The 5 best Musicians |
        +----------------------+
   1.  Jeroen Tel******  V: 177   [.1]
   2.  Drax............  V: 129   [.2]
   3.  Danko...........  V: 118   [.5]
   4.  Guy Shavitt.....  V:  97   [.4]
   5.  Reyn Ouvehand...  V:  87   [.3]

 As I imagined in Issue #1 DANKO smoked
 a big Joint to lift up a bit.. will he
 enter the Dungeons of DRAX soon ?   ->
       +------------------------+
       | The 5 Hottest Swappers |
       +------------------------+
   1.  RCS*************  V:  96   [.1]
   2.  Aslive..........  V:  53   [.3]
   3.  Chotaire........  V:  49   [NE]
   4.  Baze............  V:  43   [.3]
   5.  Machine.........  V:  28   [.2]

 Machine,Machine.. what's up ? Out of
 Fuel ? ASLIVE should get Alive to
 prepare defeating Chotaire..       -->
      +--------------------------+
      | The 5 best Cover Stylers |
      +--------------------------+
   1.  Elegance********  V: 129   [.1]
   2.  Cop.............  V:  71   [.2]
   3.  Electric........  V:  43   [.3]
   4.  Exult...........  V:  23   [NE]
   5.  Satan...........  V:  22   [.5]

 He,He ! everybody stayed on his place,
 only DEATH got onto ELECTRIC's Chair
 and got shocked outta the charthell-->
     +----------------------------+
     | The five most-cute D.M.O.s |
     +----------------------------+
  1. Wonderland IX.../CD   V: 42  [NE]
  2. Comalight 6./Oxyron   V: 34  [NE]
  3. Red Storm..../Triad   V: 24  [NE]
  4* Crest Light./Crest?   V: 21  [NE]
  4* Last Traktor III/HZ   V: ''  [NE]
  5. ComaLight 5./Oxyron   V: 15  [NE]

 Hell no Demo managed it to stay in the
 charts for one month. Sad but true.-->
          +------------------+
          | The 5 Best Games |
          +------------------+
  1. Creatures 2********   V: 39  [.1]
  2. Gaunlet 3..........   V: 12  [NE]
  3* Cool Croc Twins....   V:  9  [NE]
  3* Turrican 2.........   V:  '  [.2]
  4. Locomotion.........   V:  8  [NE]

 Too many fifth places to mention here,
 only Turrican 2 and Creatures 2
 survived the Chartbattle this month..
 ..And now introducing the last,least,
 rottiest,unfairest,shittiest , let
 me call it even the LAMEST chart ever
 made.. the name tells it all:
 LAMERCHARTS.. If you're feeling upset,
 because you're listed here,think of
 the fact,that we DON'T do the charts..
 We only count what they give us,so no
 excuse.. look at yourself and find out
 why the people don't like you.

 Just watch..

       +-------------------------+
       | The Masters of Lameness |
       +-------------------------+
   1*  Morac***********  V:  14   [.1]
   1*  Voyage**********  V:  ''   [NE]
   2.  Trinomic members  V:  13   [NE]
   3.  LOA-members...... V:   9   [.3]

 Place one as last time,but a smashing
 New Entry on place 2 (Ed.:Hi,Holgi!)..
 they voted for X-Tro,Galen and P.M.-->
 ..well,well sad thing,that guys are
 declared as lamers,but it must have
 a reason,and I know why I'd like to
 vote one guy into the lamercharts of
 other mags.. this guy knows That I
 mean him.. and he also knows why!
 Anyway I'm fair and don't talk shit
 about others,without any reason..

 Anyway,be told we don't cheat charts..
 Believe us,or get a package with this
 months Votesheets...             -Brix
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