Jamaica 10 ch12 101 Easy Ways to Say No

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101 easy ways to say no
----------------------------------------

i'd love to, but...

1. i have to floss my cat.

2. i've dedicated my life to linguini.

3. i want to spend more time with my
   blender.

4. the president said he might drop in.

5. the man on television told me to say
   tuned.

6. i've been scheduled for a karma
   transplant.

7. i'm staying home to work on my
   cottage cheese sculpture.

8. it's my parakeet's bowling night.

9. it wouldn't be fair to the other
   beautiful people.

10. i'm building a pig from a kit.

11. i did my own thing and now i've got
    to undo it.

12. i'm enrolled in aerobic scream
    therapy.

13. there's a disturbance in the
    force

14. i'm doing door-to-door collecting
    for static cling.

15. i have to go to the post office
    to see if i'm still wanted.

16. i'm teaching my ferret to yodel.

17. i have to check the freshness dates
    on my dairy products.

18. i'm going through cherry cheesecake
    withdrawl.

19. i'm planning to go down town to try
    on gloves.

20. my caryons all melted together.

21. i'm trying to see how long i
    can go without saying yes.

22. i'm in training to be a household
    pest.

23. i'm getting my overals overhauled.

24. my patent is pending.

25. i'm attending the opening of my
    garage door.

26. i'm sandblasting my oven.

27. i'm worried about my vertical hold.

28. i'm going down to the bakery to
    watch the buns rise.

29. i'm being deported.

30. the grunion are running.

31. i'll be looking for a
    parking space.

32. my milliard filmore fan club
    meets then.

33  the monsters haven't turned blue
    yet, and i have to eat more dots.

34. i'm taking punk totem pole carving.

35. i have to fluff my shower cap.

36. i'm converting my calendar
    watch from julian to gregorian.

37. i've come down with a really
    horrible case of something or other.

38. i made an appointment with a cuticle
    specialist.

39. my plot to take over the world
    is thickening.

40. i have to fulfill my potential.

41. i don't want to leave my
    comfort zone.

42. it's too close to the turn of
    the century.

43. i have some real hard words to look
    up in the dictionary.

44. my subconscious says no.

45. i'm giving nuisance lessons
    at a convenience store.

46. i left my body in my other clothes.

47. the last time i went, i never came
    back.

48  i've got a friends of ruta baga
    meeting.

49. i have to answer all of my
    "occupant" letters.

50. none of my socks match.

51. i have to be on the next train to
    bermuda.

52. i'm having all my plants neutered.

53. people are blaming me for the
    spanish-american war.

54. i changed the lock on my door
    and now i can't get out.

55. i'm making a home movie called "the
    thing that grew in my refrigerator."

56. i'm attending a perfume convention
    as guest sniffer.

57. my yucca plant is feeling yucky.

58. i'm touring china with a wok band.

59. my chocolate-appreciation class
    meets that night

60. i never go out on days that end with
    a "y".

61. my mother would never let me hear
    the end of it.

62. i'm running off to yugoslavia with
    a foreign-exchange student named
    basil metabolism.

63. i just picked up a book called
    "glue in many lands" and i can't
    put it down.

64. i'm too young/old for that stuff.

65. i have to wash/condition/perm
    curl/tease/torment my hair.

66. i have too much guilt.

67. there are important world issues
    that need worrying about.

68. i have to draw "cubby" for an art
    scholarship.

69. i'm uncomfortable when i'm alone
    or with others.

70. i promised to help a friend fold
    road maps.

71. i feel a song coming on.

72. i'm trying to be less popular.

73. my bathroom tiles need grouting.

74. i have to bleach my hare.

75. i'm waiting to see if i'm already a
    winner.

76. i'm writing a love letter to
    richard simons.

77. you know how we psychos are.

78. my favorite com,ercial is on tv.

79. i have to study for a blood test.

80. i'm going to be old someday.

81. i've been traded to concinatti.

82. i'm observing national aparty week.

83. i have to rotate my crops.

84. my uncle escaped again.

85. i'm up to my elbows in waxy buildup.

86. i have to knit some dust bunnies
    for a charity bazaar.

87. i'm having my baby shoes bronzed.

88. i have to go to court for kitty
    littering.

89. i'm going to count the bristles in
    my toothbrush.

90. i have to thaw some karate chops
    chops for dinner.

91. having fun gives me prickly heat.

92. i'm going to the missing persons
    burau to see if anyone is looking
    for me.

93. i have to jog my memory.

94. my palm reader advised against it.

95. my dress for obscurity class meets
    then.

96. i have to stay home and see if i
    snore.

97. i prefer to remain an enigma.

98. i think you want the other
    (your name).

99. i have to sit up with a sick ant.

100. i'm trying to cut down.

101. ... well, maybe.




  someday you might need a good excuse.
 use one of these sentences and you can
    be sure not to be bothered by the
             person again...

   it would really be fun to watch the
 reaction of the person when you use one
       of the strangest sentences.



 WARNING. we take no responsibility for

        screwed-up relationships.
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