Propaganda 24 ch04
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** +--------------------------+ **
\/ | THE SCENE SHOW | BY DUKE | \/
| THE SCENE SHOW | BY DUKE |
** +--------------------------+ **
\/ \/
NUDE PHOTO OF NEWSCOPY FROM HIS
** HOLIDAY IN NICE, FRANCE.. **
\/ \/
BOD HAS SEX AT CANNES..
** **
\/ WESTBAM ADMITS TO HAVING BEEN \/
SEXUALLY ABUSED ON THE PC..
** **
\/ GENE FOULS UP U2 CONCERT.. \/
** AND MUCH MORE.. **
\/ \/
** THE GAGS CONTINUE **
\/ THE GAGS CONTINUE.. \/
We spoke to some of our most loyal
readers and fans, who have followed us
over the years, and they had the
following to say about the comeback of
SATIRICA - now known as THE SCENE SHOW.
BOD:
Stop sending me mail asking stupid
questions!! I'll call the cops again!!
SOLAR:
Who are you? Get away from me!
ANTICHRIST:
What? THE SCENE SHOW? In PROPAGANDA?
Over my dead bod.. yeerhhh..
BILL CLINTON:
HILLARY and I read it all the time. I
especially enjoy the realestate pages.
This page is currently
under construction..
Please come back later..
JAZZCAT UPGRADES FIGHT AGAINST DINGOS...
________________________________________
Most of us watched with horror, as MIKE
TYSON bit part of EVANDER HOLYFIELD'S
ear off in a rematch a couple of months
ago. Well, brace yourselves, the ear-
biting did not end there.
JAZZCAT stated to DINGOS'R-NOT'US mag,
how he was greatly inspired from the
boxing match. He has lately used this
dirty trick, when fighting dingos on
his many dingo crusades across the lands
of TASMANIA.
"It beats fighting fair" said JAZZCAT
to the TASMANIAN based magazine, before
he reached over to snack on the
interviewers right ear. "Crunch.."
JAZZCAT is notorious for his lifelong
hatred for dingo's, and has just
recently built Dingo concentrationcamps
in HOLLAND, JAPAN and ICELAND to enslave
whatever dingo's, that may appear in
these parts of the world. On the
question of how a Dingo's ear tastes,
he stated in a belching tone - "Yummy".
Animal rights organizations have
promised to hunt down JAZZCAT, as soon
as they finish collecting money from
poor old fat chicks.
This is just yet another problem in a
pile of many, as JAZZCAT is currently
set for a CO operation in THAILAND,
where he is to be cured from his "Desire
To Be Involved With As Many Magazines
As Possible" illness - also known as
the DOMINATION syndrome.
DOGBAND TAKE ON THEM SPICY GIRLIES...
________________________________________
THOR, former ragstar from the late
American fixingparodi, GLORY, have
announced starting the very first band
in the world starring dogs. His dog,
a beagle named JADE, will lead the
band, and according to THOR, he has
already secured an exclusive record
deal with MADONNA's label - MAVERICK
RECORDING COMPANY.
The deal is said to be at least worth
5 dog biscuits, but there is no news
on what the dogs will get as payment.
THOR, chewing on a dog biscuit, stated
in closing "The Brits thought they had
a goldmine in them spicy girlies, but
they haven't seen nothing yet. Just wait
till THE BEAGLES hit the market."
Top +T---S-----T------L---+ Top
--- |THE SCENE TOP 1O LIST| ---
1 0 +---------------------+ 1 0
Top ten reasons why LEGEND
is coming back to the C64.
10. They were drafted by GENE.
9. DOC forgot to write a scrolltext.
8. EXCELL bought himself a PC, and
wanted to rejoin LEGEND.
7. They were busted selling GIF
pictures of nude sheeps, and was
sentenced to serve time on the C64.
6. FLETCH got himself a kicking new
C64 emulator.
5. POWERPLANT lost a first-release, so
WESTBAM said; "That's it. We're
going home."
4. The scene has developed a special
kind of magnetism, that draws back
all groups starting with the letter
L.
3. WESTBAM lost a bet with DOGFRIEND,
and as a result, LEGEND were the
ones, who had to go back to the
C64.
2. XXX wanted to reveal his true
handle; IDA.
1. One word: C64EVER!
SKINHEAD WAS NOT JAILED AFTERALL...
________________________________________
SKINHEAD, who was absent from the scene
over a long period, was in fact not in
jail, as many rumors claimed - his
phone was just offline. LOW-LIFE mag
uncovered the juicy details, stating;
"The shame must be endurable.." and "He
should have come clean at first.."
When the article had hit the market,
SKINHEAD decided to finally come clean,
and admitted to having been the one
spreading the false information about
him being sent to jail.
"How else could I tell my friends, my
phone was offline? They would have
laughed at me.." stated a clearly moved
SKINHEAD to SAT 1945, a German channel.
"I mean, it's like missing an arm or
being handicapped (?) or something.."
added SKINHEAD, before leaving to abuse
a payphone - forgetting his phone was
actually online again.
SKINHEAD is also being investigated
because of having lied about his handle.
"He is not a skinhead in real life. It
is misguiding information" said a
lawyer, who had sued SKINHEAD for 2 DM.
SKINHEAD however denied the accusations,
stating; "Yes, I am a skinhead. I'm just
covering it with hair.."
+--------------------------------------+
| Meanwhile at the studio of DAFT PUNK |
| |
|"Around the scene, around the scene.."|
+--------------------------------------+
GENE FOULS UP U2 CONCERT...
________________________________________
In a related story, also GENE has had
his share of trouble with the phone-
company. He in fact lost his telephone
privileges, just as SECOND TO NONE was
at its beginning stage - and considering
he is involved with the board, it was
the worst time of all to suffer that
type of problem.
"Try calling a board from a payphone.
It's no fun, I tell ya!!" said GENE to
IGLOS'R'US magazine. However, he found a
way, and a certain rock group was not
pleased.
U2 stated in totally stoned magazine,
GENE was to blame for the problems, they
had during their NORWAY concert.
Apparently the lemon would not open,
when they were supposed to have played
the DISCOTHEQUE song. "How's that my
fault?" questioned GENE.
But there was more! THE EDGE's electric
guitar went dead at several occasions,
and this was definitely GENE's fault.
"Okay, okay, I admit it. I needed the
power to hook up my modem."
The rest of the concert went by okay,
and U2 rocked the stadium with golden
oldies, such as; "Where the scene has no
name", "With or without the C64", "Pride
(in the name of the C64)" among others.
PROPAGANDA
(What's the story) Chart glory ?
__________________________________
S
SHOCKING PHOTO OF NEWSCOPY GOING FOR A
BABE IN NICE, FRANCE - IN THE NUDE!!
+---------------------------+
|+---------+ +------------+|
||Get away!| |May I touch?||
|+---------+ +------------+|
| ** .. |
| *..* ** @@ |
| >< \/ @||@ |
| *@@* **** @||@ |
| + ** + + ** + || |
| ** ** || |
| * * * * || |
| + + + + || |
+---------------------------+
We wonder what his girlfriend has to
say about this photo.
VENGEANCE CURED FROM ABSURD SYNDROME...
________________________________________
VANDALISM NEWS is once again in
circulation, as was made official with
the release of the 28th edition. Many
rumors have been made, as to why
VANDALISM NEWS was delayed 64 years, but
none more need be made, as VENGEANCE
(in tears) hosted a press-conference,
revealing the true reasons behind the
biggest delay ever.
"I am now willing to admit it. I was
suffering from DTRN28OAM - also known as
the DIFFICULTY TO RELEASE NUMBER 28 OF
A MAGAZINE syndrome." VENGEANCE enrolled
into EDITORS ANONYMOYS, and was thank-
fully cured from this strange syndrome.
The DTRN29OAM syndrome is however
lurking in the background.
This page is currently under
investigation by RELAX MAGAZINE..
Please come back later..
BOD HAS A KIND OF SEXUAL ENCOUNTER...
________________________________________
The leading member of the British royal
family, BOD of TALENT, is once again
target of great media attention. The
incident that provoked the controversy,
was a series of pictures showing BOD in
the nude, having sex on a beach at the
CANNES festival in France.
Who - or what - BOD was having sex with
is still unknown, but it is currently
being investigated at a French lab,
where some of the most renowned
scientists have gathered around the
subject.
"So he DOES look like HOMER SIMPSON,
when he takes his close off.." said a
shocked bystander. "He should work for
POWERPLANT, now that LEGEND is back.."
said another person.
BOD stated to the British tabloid press,
he was in CANNES to promote his new CD
featuring two billion C64 programs. It
was somewhat of an unsuccessful trip
though, as BOD was rejected from all the
exclusive parties at the festival - who
claimed BOD was an imposter, and not
really a member of any royal family.
"He doesn't even have a title" said a
guard, who had earlier thrown BOD out of
a MACDONALDS restaurant.
"Title? I don't need no stinkin' title"
said BOD to a passing sheep, before
heading for the beach to have sex with
THE THING..
REMEMBER THE TIMES...
________________________________________
Remembering the old and golden wares has
become a new trend in the scene, and
because the demand is there, a lot of
new cracking groups have been formed,
with the only purpose to recrack old
wares - and make better versions of
them.
REMEMBER is one such group, founded by
HOK and FREESTYLE. JACK ALIEN is also a
part of this team, and he stated to
LOW-SCENE-LIFE magazine, he was planning
on concentrating all of his energy into
this new group. HOK also spoke with the
famous magazine, and said the group was
founded, because many sceners suffer
from ALZHEIMER's disease - and as a
result have forgotten most wares.
The members of the press questioned the
effects of the ALZHEIMER's disease, but
all HOK could cough up was; "Well, eh,
ALZHEIMER's is a ... eh ... Gosh darn
it, I can't REMEMBER.."
+--------------------------------------+
|Meanwhile at a bar near JACK ALIEN.. |
|(singing) "I get knocked down, rack it|
|up again, you ain't ever gonna keep me|
|down.." |
|--------------------------------------|
| - THE SCENE SHOW - |
|--------------------------------------|
|Meanwhile at a F4CG party.. |
|(singing) "It gets smoked down, roll |
|it up again, you ain't ever gonna keep|
|me down.." |
+--------------------------------------+
HEAVYHEAD GIVES HEAD TO RADIOHEAD...
________________________________________
The Danish phreaker, HEAVYHEAD, was
kicked out of CHROMANCE, allegedly
because he kept playing the RADIOHEAD
smash hit song "Creep" to leader of
CHROMANCE, MR.WAX. "There was a hidden
message in that song, I just know it.."
stated MR.WAX to ROLLING HEADS magazine.
However, HEAVYHEAD was able to guard
himself, as he read on a board, MR.WAX
was planning on booting him out of the
group. He quickly called up MR.WAX, put
the phone next to the radio, and played
the old classic ELVIS song "Kick me
tender". And so he was. Rumor has it
though, BUTTHEAD has invited HEAVYHEAD
to form a brand new group, which is to
be called TALKING HEADS. We wait the
decision with absolutely no interest.
+N-------C-----+
** -|NATURES CORNER|- **
\/ +--------------+ \/
"WATCHING A GAME LOAD ON TAPE"
Welcome to the return of NATURES CORNER,
the infamous show hosted by POWERPLANT
of LEGEND. Here he is, your favorite
host - POWERPLANT. (Scattered applause)
PWP: Thank you, thank you very much. My
guest today is WESTBAM, who is
going to tell us a little about why
we (LEGEND) are coming back to the
old C64 scene.
WTB: Yo!
PWP: Yes..?
WTB: Well, thing is, we were sexually
abused by the nasty PC people, so
we ran like hell..
PWP: Really? Sexually abused? Were we?
WTB: Yes, we were.
PWP: Gee.. I kind of liked it actually.
To be honest, I didn't see it as
abuse.
WTB: Well, it was. Anyway, we got out
before they could say; "Bend him
over, and insert that floppy disk!"
PWP: Oh.. Anyway, on to other things.
Why do you write IKARI as iKARi?
WTB: i don't do that.
PWP: Yes, you do.
WTB: No i don't. i say iKARi!
PWP: You just did it AGAIN!!
WTB: No i didn't.
PWP: Yes, you did. You do not type the
capital I, when you are supposed
to. As in; No I didn't!
WTB: i don't care. Shut up!
PWP: Get lost!
WTB: Fuck off!
PWP: No, YOU fuck off!
SCENERS FORM SCENE SPICE...
________________________________________
Look out world, here comes a brand new
hit group - the latest to be formed in
the wasted lands, known as the C64
scene.
SPICE MEN is the name of the group, and
it is said to be formed by; DERBYSHIRE
RAM (old spice), CREEPER (creepy spice),
MR.SEX (sexy spice), GRIM REAPER (grim
spice) and MR.WAX (waxed spice).
They have already cut their first album,
which will run with the following title:
ALL SPICED UP.
CROSSFIRE was appalled, and threatened
to bring back the legendary scene music
group TAKE THIS. No one took him serious
though, till he jumped up on the table
and took a guitar out of his pants.
They questioned, how he had room for
the guitar in his pants, but to that,
he simply replied; "Nothing else is
occupying my pants.."
\/** **\/** **\/** **\/** **\/** **
\/**\/ \/**\/ \/**\/ \/**\/ \/**\/
+--------------------------------------+
|Meanwhile at the house of ANTICHRIST +|
|THE SORCERESS.. |
| |
|ANTICHRIST : "Now only I have access |
| to her MYSTIC CAVERN!" |
| |
|SORCERESS : "Go for it my hunky toy!"|
+--------------------------------------+
UNPLUGGED FEVER HITS THE SCENE...
________________________________________
The scene is constantly evolving, and
yet another brilliant idea has seen the
light of day. BACK TO THE ROOTS, is the
name of the concept, that was developed
by FLETCH of LEGEND.
The concept includes cracking and fixing
unplugged, meaning; "We just take out
our cartridges and start cracking. Real
cool.." said FLETCH to the appalled mass
of former fans.
The new plan has been given a lot of
criticism, claiming it would make
cracking impossible. FLETCH referred to
the RUN/STOP RESTORE buttons; "We still
have them.." They sure did!
WALKER WALKS OVER BOTH POLES...
________________________________________
Editor of the PROPAGANDA charts, WALKER,
has declared war on the Polish people,
apparently because of their inability to
vote on actual active sceners. The
Polish sceners however claim, it has
been a well known problem, they have
suffered from for centuries, and WALKER
should take that into consideration. In
fact, HITLER invaded Poland, and thereby
started WORLD WAR II, because they
continued to vote for old American
soldiers.
WALKER did not care about the Polish
excuse, and took away their voting
privileges. "I mean it. All people south
of the Northern pole are banned from
voting in PROPAGANDA!" said WALKER.
FAIRLIGHT IS GETTING LIGHTER...
________________________________________
The days when FAIRLIGHT was considered a
real factor in the c64 scene are long
gone, and so realizes leader of today's
FAIRLIGHT, SLEDGE. He told GROUP-LIFE
magazine, he was tired of inactivity
within the group, and plans on searching
for a new group. "BACCHUS just sits in
his chair, looking out the window.."
said SLEDGE, and added; "BACCHUS should
be leading this ship to new days of
greatness.." When we tried to get a hold
of BACCHUS, he was in the midst of
coding another c64-related program for
the PC - this one called CONVERT TO PC
FUCKER. We told him what SLEDGE had said
to the press, but all BACCHUS had in
response was; "I've retired you morons,
leave me the hell a lone.." And we did!
Top +T---C-------C-----+ Top
--- -|THE CHEATED CHARTS|- ---
1 0 +------------------+ 1 0
We now bring you the cheated charts,
sponsored by PROPAGANDA magazine. Our
thanks to the voters, whom we misread
the votes of.
1. PROPAGANDA
2. PROPAGAANDA
3. PROBABLY PROPAGANDA
4. PRO PROPAGANDA
5. PROPER PROPAGANDA
6. PROPAGANDA PROPERTY
7. PROPAGANDA PROPOSAL
8. PROSECUTE PROPAGANDA
9. PROSPEROUS PROPAGANDA
10. VOTE FOR PROPAGANDA
SPLATTERHEAD GETS SHORTY...
________________________________________
The famous mail-trader, SPLATTERHEAD,
has announced the desire to stop
swapping all together, so he can spend
more time with this girlfriend.
"I'd much rather be with my girlie, and
pursue a career as a former scene
member.." said SPLATTERHEAD to NO-MORE-
SCENE-LIFE magazine.
Following this statement, he has been
sent hundreds of angry letters from
former contacts, claiming he was a
MAIL-TRAITOR. SPLATTERHEAD was quick
with a fitting reply; "Eat my shorts.."
And so they did!
+C---------T------G----+
-|CHOTAIRES TRAVEL GUIDE|-
+----------------------+
CHOTAIRE is known for traveling around
the world, lately having lived in CHILE
and KUWAIT. This time he has send us a
postcard from NIGERIA.
+--------------------------------------+
|Hi friends and foes. I am now in |
|NIGERIA - home of the BIG MAC. It is a|
|beautiful place, although quite cold. |
|Today I was out skating on the lake, |
|tomorrow we will go out hunting for |
|POLAR BEARS. Hope the scene is fine. |
|See you next month, |
| |
| CHOTAIRE.. |
+--------------------------------------+
SCENERS GET TATTOOED ALL OVER...
________________________________________
Tattoos seem to be the big thing in the
scene at the moment. THE SHAKING TATTOO-
ERS have made a special deal to all
sceners interested in visiting their
franchise stores all around the world.
When we drove out to see, who was
getting the tattoos, we were met by
WESTBAM and DOC of LEGEND.
WESTBAM showed us his new tattoo, which
was a picture of POWERPLANT cracking a
game.
DOC was not interested in showing his,
but when we threatened to bring EXCELL
back, he quickly opened his short, and
exposed a tattoo with the letters; " ".
WESTBAM was all excited about this new
form of expression. "But just wait.
Bodypainting will be next on the agenda
for us. I just saw JACK ALIEN painted up
as a beer - real cool.." said WESTBAM.
+--------------------------------------+
|Meanwhile at the house of BOD/TALENT..|
| |
|"What the XXXX is XXX doing in LEGEND |
|again? Just wait till I get a hold of |
|that XXX XX X XXXXX!!!!" |
|--------------------------------------|
|--------------------------------------|
|Meanwhile at the house of THE CREST...|
| |
|"We don't mind, writing whatever comes|
|to mind. Because a mind is a terrible |
|thing to mind." Nevermind.. |
+--------------------------------------+
NEW CO-OPERATION DEVIDES SCENE...
________________________________________
The scene is getting smaller by the
minute, and it is not because of the
sceners, who are leaving - it is caused
by the latest co-operation to have hit
the scene. "In fact, this could be the
biggest co-operation ever.." said chief
of the new team, BURGLAR, who mastered
the plan. The name of this new group
will be: TRC+SCS+G*P+NEI+ILS+I+T+AT&T+
MCI, and is said to be the most illegal
group since CREST went nuts with HEAT-
SEEKER. AT&T promised to supply the
cards, while MCI would bring the beers.
NEI and G*P will represent the inactive
part of the group, I+T will write fan
letters on the cards supplied by AT&T to
LEGEND members, while SCS+TRC will crack
the games.
