Nordic Scene Review 07

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Nordic Scene Review #07 - Solo career

Nordic Scene Review #07 - Solo career   
Things don't always work out the        
way you want them to, and this time     
they really didn't work out at all.     
My fellow editors were too damn busy    
to produce any text at all for this     
issue, so I had to do it all by myself. 
But to not make the whole mag speak     
with a single voice, I have programmed  
our advanced AI systems to emulate the  
opinions of Twoflower and Nightlord,    
which means this issue should be just   
as conversational and multifaceted as   
the previous issues.                    
My original idea was to release this    
mag more than a month ago, to get the   
Breakpoint reviews out to our beloved   
(and behated) readers.  Unfortunately   
that didn't work out quite as I'd hoped 
it would, but then again, you already   
knew that life sucks, right?  But here  

it is at last, later than ever.         
Speaking of the Breakpoint releases,    
I think it was nice to see a bunch      
of real demos released there again.     
Mekka/Symposium used to be the demo     
compo of the year, until suddenly       
all the big groups decided to pack it   
up and quit releasing.  Of course we    
miss groups like Oxyron, Crest, Bosse   
Design and Smash Design, but instead    
we get Singular and Bennysoft releases. 
I hope that this will continue, because 
the continental groups are needed       
if the scene's going to live for two    
more weeks.                             
Another thing that's evident if you read
the reviews in this issue is that there 
are a bunch of new groups releasing     
demos.  And at least one of the groups  
that's probably still considered as new 
by most conservative oldtimers, Panda   
Design, is already starting to feel like
an institution.  I just hope that all   

these other new groups do what Panda did
and keep releasing.  Not just releasing,
of course, they should sharpen their    
coding weapons (unless they're firearms,
there's no point in sharpening those)   
and deliver better warez the next time. 
I know from personal experience that    
it's quite easy to reach a level where  
you consider yourself a decent coder,   
you can do most of the standard tricks  
and can throw together a release pretty 
quickly if you have to.  The next       
step is harder: to go where no man      
has been an eagle in a rocketship up    
in cyberspace of eternal death and      
king of bongo before.  Or to put it in  
less demented sounding words: to start  
doing stuff that looks interesting to   
others than yourself and your fanclub.  
Life isn't just about bitches and money 
(no disrespect to N.W.A., of course),   
it's also about spending weeks putting  
together a kickass effect, release it   
and hear people say "wowee muthafucka"  
when it's shown on the bigscreen.       

Taking a life or two, that's what the   
hell I do, I guess...                   
The song you're listening to is a       
composition by Maktone, the man with    
gold in his beard, dedicated to his     
sister Kristin who turns 20 today.      
Big fat congratulations to her!         
Text by Puterman.                       
Music by Maktone.                       

Breakpoint demos

Breakpoint demos                        
Animatron by TRSI                       
This feels like Reanim8ed by Hitmen,    
but much less ambitious, and much less, 
well... good.  The animations are       
completely pointless and don't even     
look good.  The only positive thing I   
can think of is the music, especially   
the tune by Jeff, which is pretty cozy, 
even if it sounds like a complete ripoff
of an old Drax tune.                    
If I were really Twoflower, I'd probably
have something positive to say about    
the music as well.                      
If I were really Ed, I'd probably say   
something really clever about something.
Or maybe I'd just be fucking boring.    

Oh well.                                
Unicorn by Chorus                       
Nordic Loader Review gives this one     
a thumb pointing firmly towards hell,   
as it crashes after the first part.     
"Nordic Emulator Review", a sister      
publication of "Nordic Too Tired and    
Pissed to Setup Another C64 Review"     
thinks that Clarence is superduper      
at coding oldschool demos with soul.    
The intro DYPP, the chess part, the     
greetings, they don't just look good,   
they also make me feel good.  The smooth
filled vectors are really smooth and    
nice and I can think of few things that 
are as oldschool as filled vectors.     
What brings this demo down is Leon's    

horrible unicorn picture.  I don't know 
about the rest of you...  Actually I do,
I know from CSDb comments etc. that     
you love his graphics, but I wanted     
to start that sentence that way, so     
I'll do it anyway: I don't know about   
the rest of you, but I find most of     
Leon's graphics absolutely horrible.    
The colours look like they were buried  
in the eighties and untombed by some    
insane nostalgia freak, and the motives 
look like the stuff that you'd find in  
Boris Vallejo's toilet, if you'd be     
interested to to take a look in it.     
(Most people claim that they like       
constructive criticism.  Okay, here's   
a helpful comment to Leon: Maybe you    
should try making music instead?)       
I have to point out the Leon have some  
skills in mixing colours and stuff,     
which I suppose is relevant if you're   
into pixelling porn.                    

So they released a "collectors edition" 
of this demo as well, which I suppose is
another way of saying "100% version".   
I was of course curious to see if this  
collectors edition would have a loader  
that would please a demo collector such 
as myself, or if collectors are supposed
to have some specific type of drive.    
(Demo collectors aren't necessarily     
drive collectors, are they?)  It seems  
the Chorus Laboratories have determined 
that you have to have some specific     
type of drive.  Too bad, because the    
demo still kicks ass, and I'd love to   
watch it on real hardware without the   
hassle of having to setup another C-64. 
Error 23 by Resource and The Dreams     

Nordic Loader Review sadly have to      
report that this one also crashes on    
my 128d, just when I was starting to    
feel really positive about Oswald's     
way of taking old and boring 90's       
parts and making them look really       
nice.  The bumpmapper is an absolutely  
wonderful way to start a demo, I haven't
bothered to even start thinking about   
the optimizations used, but that's      
a jawdropper.  Another jawdropper is    
that the picture by Leon, used as       
a backdrop in the jelly cube part,      
actually looks nice.  So okay, keep     
working on your graphics, some music    
editors are a bit hard to learn...      
While most parts are really fast and    
smooth (the tunnel sure doesn't run     
in full framerate, but it's much        
better than any other tunnel I've       
see), the chess waver looks too slow    
to be serious.  What's up with that?    

Maybe Oswald needs to talk to Britelite 
or Clarence to learn some tricks.       
All in all, this is a kick ass demo.    
/me likes                               
Yes, I agree that the coding is kickass,
but wouldn't it be sort of cool if it   
also told a story?  Also, wouldn't it be
cool if me or Twoflower (the real one)  
were involved here, so that we could say
something about the music, which fucking
Puterman always seems to fucking ignore?
Yo embryo, I absolutely agree that      
that'd be cool, but it's a sad and      
well known fact that 99% of the music   
produced on the C-64 is boring as hell, 
which is why I usually don't even       
mention it.  I can't even remember the  
music in this one, so I guess it wasn't 
all that interesting.  But then again,  
who cares?  Turn off the demo music and 

put on some other music instead.        
Non Plus Ultra by Singular              
Singular again?  We reviewed a demo by  
them in the last issue, and here they   
are again.  What is this, Fairlight? :) 
Puterman's shameless self promotion has 
to stop.                                
Anyway, Nordic Loader Review are very   
happy to get so much attention, while   
the rest of us might think it's a bit   
pathetic that ONE OUT OF FOUR FUCKING   

FUCKING DO SO.                          
I'd just like to point out that Nafcom  
and Merman actually never managed       
to link a decent loader themselves.     
Just to get the facts straight.         
Okay, shit happens.  Quite a few demos  
fail to work on different hardware      
configurations, I can understand that,  
I've released tons of demos that fail   
to work on most 1541-II's myself.       
Of course, if people would have told    
me about it, I would have tried to do   

something about it.  That's why I'm     
telling you all now that you might      
want to test your loaders on different  
hardware.  Among the loaders that       
I've used so far, which are the ones    
that are widely available, I haven't    
noticed any problems with Dreamload yet.
That one was used in all of Maktone's   
music collections.  Taboo's loader      
seems to fail on 1541-II, and some      
versios of Krill's loader don't work    
on 128d systems.  The same goes for     
some versions of Sensei's loader, and   
that one by the guy in Cream (Madrom?), 
which was used everywhere for some time 
in the 90s.                             
I have to point out that the loader in  
this demo is actually DreamLoad, though,
so it seems The Dreams are actually     
turning into The Nightmares.            

Anyway, maybe Nordick Fucking Emulator  
Review should say something about the   
demo then...                            
The vector object in front of the       
scrolling picture is a really cool part,
except that Leon strikes back again, in 
his usual style.  Here's a crash course 
in good taste: skies don't fucking      
look like that, not in this life, nor   
the next, and if you're trying to be    
creative, don't use those piss-ugly     
The above mentioned part is probably the
highlight of this effect show, which    
makes me think of Mortalis Arisen by    
64ever or (for less recent examples)    
anything by AEG.  There are effects,    
there are graphics, there are sounds.   
They're not bad.  However, they don't   
have soul, they don't have data, they   
don't make me feel.                     
I don't have a clue why this demo won   
the compo.  In my book this is a clear  

third place, as the demos by Resource   
and Chorus were both better.  But what  
do I know, maybe all the serious voters 
got food poisoning from eating bad curry
wurst or maybe they were all beaten up  
by some aggressive Hungarian t-shirt    
salesman.  Shit happens, and then you   
marry one.                              
Prophecy and Faith by Civitas           
The only one who could ever come up with
a demo concept like this is Zeitgeist.  
I'm sure Nightlord knows what I'm       
talking about. :)                       
Of course, I guess they made this one as

compensation for the fact that I never  
completed that philosopher demo.        
The one that I started working on waaaay
back in 1963, yes.                      
Unfortunately it's not a very well      
implemented demo.  Sure, it has a loader
POSSIBLE!), there are no serious bugs   
as far as I can see etc.  But really,   
there's nothing to keep us watching it  
either.  Sure, there's the faint hope   
that some remotely interesting part     
might show up, but we're really back    
to basics here.  This is the kind of    
stuff you can pull off after learning   
the absolute basics, $d016, $d011,      
$d012, bla-bla.  So, no interesting     
code.  Well, this is a concept demo,    
so who cares.  Well, as a concept demo, 
it's pretty uninteresting.  The "story" 
is well-known and all we get here is    

a couple of quotes from ancient and     
medieval writers, combined with wired   
hires pictures.                         
I wasn't exactly bored while watching   
this demo, in a way it doesn't do       
anything wrong, it's not exaggeratedly  
slow, but it does keep you waiting a    
while now and then, and there aren't    
any obvious flaws.  On the other hand,  
there's nothing inherently positive     
about it either.  Nothing to keep you   
awake.  And the music has a tendency to 
loop a few times too many.  In a way,   
the music is nice, it makes me think of 
Rob Hubbard (you know, the guy that all 
C-64 musicians like to say they like,   
although they'd never even dream of     
making a tune in a style resembling     
his, as Drax's is a much better style   
to try to mimic).  Thumbs up for that,  
but really, it's not very interesting...
Damn, I probably have some opinion here,
but Puterman can't really figure out    

what I'd say if I was really me, so     
I'll just give up and admit that I'm    
not really me.                          
Interesting stuff from Twoflower there, 
but let's get on with the review.       
So, all in all, it's not incompetent,   
but I'd be happy if it had been a bit   
more interesting.  The only part I find 
a bit interesting is the techtech one.  
Not on a technical level, but visually  
it seems to have something to transmit. 
Not enough to make me recommend anyone  
to watch the demo though.  Sorry.       
I still wonder how Zeitgeist manages    
to dig up people like the coder of      
this demo.  According to the note,      
this Bytecult fellow is some new,       
unknown coder.  He managed to recruit   
me, then Nightlord, now this Bytecult   
guy.  And all he does is sit around and 
play jazz on his guitar and read about  

medieval justice.  He's got unusual     
skills, that's for sure.                
Reading the note (does anyone else      
do that?) after watching the demo       
and writing the above text, it seems    
this wasn't Zeitgeist's demo at all     
(wot?) and it wasn't him that found     
Bytecult, it was the other way around   
(it's a weird, weird world).  In a way, 
the note is more worth watching that    
the demo itself, but it's also almost   
infinitely slow, so I won't recommend   
anyone to read it on a real machine,    
like I did.  Damn, couldn't you have    
flipped those pages a bit faster?       
This is torture!                        

Beach Party 1988 by Megahawks Inc.      
Ah, Megahawks Incorporated, my favorite 
Italian stallions...  If this had       
actually been made back in 1988, I'm    
sure pathetic oldtimers would speak of  
them with great respect over at CSDb.   
"Wow, man, do you remember the tribute  
part to MacGyver in Beach Party 1988?"  
"Yeah, it was fucking awesome, but      
I still wonder what MacGyver's first    
name was..."                            
They'd probably also go: "Wow, man,     
do you remember all the stuff you       
could do while the second part loaded?" 
"Yeah, man, I used to wash my long hair 
(hockeyfrilla, of coz), walk the dog,   
dream of fucking the cutest girl in     
my school, listen to Modern Talking's   
latest record and then I'd make some    

porridge and sit down in front of the   
computer, to hear MC Mullet's AWESOME   
mix.  Man, those were the days..."      
"Yeah, man, they sure were..."          
Well, now we all know what MacGyver's   
first name is: Milo.                    

Breakpoint 4k

Breakpoint 4k                           
Splttermnky by Triad                    
A 4k from Iopop, wowee, haven't seen    
that since...  never?  Anyway, this is  
about as Iopop as it gets.  You get two 
colours, no graphics and essentially    
no code.  So it's not much of a demo,   
is it?  Well, it's Iopop, the Omar-S of 
the C-64 scene, who does his thaaang.   
If you can dig it, you might as well dig
this as any of his demos.  If you don't,
you might as well stay away.            
[Puterman II]                           
We can dig it, as this guy coded our    
magsys.  Triad forevah!                 

Fourking by Dekadence                   
I've always had a hard time taking      
Britelite seriously as a coder.         
He's mixed good stuff with really,      
really bad stuff, uninspired music with 
8x8 parts etc.  You know the deal, he's 
released quite a lot of stuff during the
last 5 years or so.  The first really   
solid release from him was Beertime     
IVA, which we wrote about a couple of   
issues ago.  Here's another one, a 4k   
that means business.                    
I have to point out that you've also    
spoken highly of releases such as       
Beertime II and the fabulous Nivussieni 
in the past...                          
You're right of course, but me          

neglecting to mention one good release  
by Britelite isn't going to ruin the    
entire mag, is it?  Are you trying to   
provoke me?  You want a piece of me,    
huh?  You want a fistfight?  You want   
a fucking fistfight?  I'll tell you     
one thing, cloudfucker, you're in       
a fistfight with the devil, man, a      
fistfight with the fucking devil, man!  
And you know that one must fall...      
Right, so after sorting that out, let's 
get back to the demo: the chess part    
is the one thing we'll all remember     
from this one.  That one's enough to    
almost make you think "Krill class 4k". 
But then again, had it been Krill,      
he'd showed a couple of more parts in   
the same class.  Britelite isn't quite  
there yet, but he's definitely getting  
better and better.  This 4k is like     
a mix between a 4k demo by Krill and    
Vaippaihottuma by DKD, mixing both the  
good and the bad stuff.  I can't say I  
care much for the tune, but then again, 

you rarely do in 4k demos, do you?      
Artefact by Plush                       
Or was that 666 Lightyears from Earth by
Plushlight?  Sure, I might be slightly  
biased, but it seems sort of obvious to 
me that the main source of inspiration  
for this demo came from a demo by me.   
Krill captures the essence of that demo,
and manages to squeeze that essence,    
the magical sugar, into less than       
$1000 bytes.                            
Of course, a lot gets lost on the way   
when the compression algorithm is as    
lossy as that.  Where did the robots go?
Why do the edges of that rotating planet

look so jagged?  Why is the frame rate  
so low?  Why is the music so repetitive?
The answer to all of these questions is 
of course the size thing.               
I'm suitably impressed, but I still     
feel that this whole concept might      
have gained from some more fat, some    
grease in the machinery.  The kind of   
grease that might have made this into   
a full-size onefile demo.  Maybe even a 
multiload one.  I'm not used to feeling 
that Krill's 4k demos lack something.   
This time I do.  It's lacking flow      
and speed.  It's lacking sprites in the 
planet part.  It's lacking the kind of  
stuff that you could throw in if you had
more memory.  So basically, I'm not as  
madly enthusiastic about this one as    
the people who vote at CSDb (9.5/10     
right now), but I like it.  I'm not     
really in the mood for comparisons right
now, so I'm not going to try to decide  
whether this is Krill's best 4k so far, 
or whether Britelite was actually the   

moral winner this time.  What I know is 
that Krill is a great coder who has done
the 4-5 best 4k demos in the history    
of the C-64 4k demos (which isn't very  
long, granted), and this one is also a  
nice and ambitious production.  I'm just
not sure if it's up to his standards.   
It probably is, and I'm just too old    
to be able to appreciate this nusk00l   
stylee.  Anyway, thumbs up and see you  
in another universe sometime.           
[PuterFlower and PuterLord]             
We also have opinions on this thing, as 
well as the whole 4k compo, but those   
opinions are classified.  Sorry for     
the inconvenience!                      

Miscellaneous demos

Miscellaneous demos                     
Bne or bust by Bitnop Designs           
New group, small demo.  I like the fact 
that they did something more than just  
a logo and a scroller.  It all looks    
pretty nice, except that the graphics   
are ugly, but this is their first       
production, so we'll save the harsh     
comments for the future.                
Chili Power by Instinct                 
Jackasser partycoded this fresh looking 
part at Maximum Overdrive.  I like.     
But not in the way that I have very much
to say about it.  And give us a longer  
scroll text next time! :)               

4k by Limp Ninja                        
Limp Ninja aren't to be taken seriously,
but this is a pretty fresh-looking      
little part.  Too bad about the raster  
bugs and the ROM font.                  
I have to point out, though, that fake  
demos are always great fun if you're    
involved or know the people who are.    
I'm not involved in this one, and don't 
know these Limp Ninjas, so this isn't   
much fun.  But it does make me think    
of White Ninja, a character who always  
makes me smile, so thumbs up for that!  

Nada by Level 64                        
Zed Yago's brain doesn't seem to work   
like any other C64 coder's, so it's     
always exciting to see what he's come up
with.  This time it's only three parts, 
but I like them all.  The parts don't   
exactly fit together, but it's not like 
I care.  It's nice to see some parts    
with real graphics in them for once.    
More of this stuff, please.  The last   
tune is pretty nice, too.               
Newt0rn by Enthusi                      
I don't know what to make of this       
really.  The idea is sort of nice,      
if not all that original, and the       

graphics could have been more well      
chosen.  But my major gripe with this   
little demo is that it's not a demo.    
It's silent, what's up with that?       
And what's going on on the screen isn't 
all that nice.  But well, I guess this  
is a debut release, so we'll accept it  
and hope for something that feels a bit 
more complete in the future.            
I have to point out, though, that this  
really is on the edge of the acceptable.
The only reason I can think of why no   
music was added here is that the coder  
was too fucking lazy to rip a tune      
from HVSC, link it in and add about 5   
instructions to play it.  That's really 
lazy.  We're watching you, dude...      
Volatile by Panda Designs               

A small and simple demo from the        
Pandas this time.  Nothing in it is     
really special, but it feels pretty     
cool anyway.  It's nice to see that     
my grandson m0h is getting active,      
and that he keeps the faith in silly    
scrollers about Buzzie's mom.  Thumbs up
for the fuckings and for using the word 
And yeah, I agree with Radiantx, more   
small demos like this one, please.      
And I think the only reason why you're  
not slagging this one is that you know  
the people involved.  If this was made  
by some random group from Turkey, you'd 
tell them to piss off, right?           
As hypothetical as that scenario is,    
it might be correct.  But what do I     
know, am I suddenly going to try to     
deceive myself into thinking that I can 
be objective?                           

Pirate Intro by Nori                    
Another debut release, we seem to be    
getting a lot of those lately.  This one
is of the simpler kind, just a picture  
and a scroller, but what the heck,      
we're content with that for now.        
Fakrastr by Shocktrooper                
Sweet mother Mongo, another debut       
release, what is this?  Anyway, another 
simple one, of course, but with a       
bit more coding done than Nori.  The    
graphics in this one are really ugly,   
but Shocktrooper did everything himself,
so we'll forgive him.  But not twice.   
Never twice...  One gong is no gong,    

but two gong is gong-gong!              
Does Karita Know? by Speedfisters       
This is probably what a coop release by 
Iopop and Afrika would look like, but   
Speedfisters did it first.  Thumbs up   
for the seriously drunk and disorderly  
scroll text writing.  And the main      
screen actually looks pretty nice.      
Thanks for contributing to this mag,    
man, you know we've always looked up    
to you!  You know you're the #1 poet of 
the C-64 scene!                         

Membertro by Crypt                      
It's got style and a bit of the vibe,   
but it's really not much to talk about. 
It's nice to see more people making a   
comeback, and I hope they keep their    
promises of more releases.  We'll report
on those in upcoming issues of this mag.
A coop demo with Tropyx?  No comment.   
selfish.28 by Dekadence                 
Ah, Britelite and his 8x8 plasmas...    
This is a quickly thrown together affair

with some recycled parts and a boring   
tune.  I still like it quite a bit,     
though, because the design idea is sort 
of fresh, and the two different colour  
schemes means that you get two demos    
(or well, one and a half maybe) for the 
price of one.  Thumbs up, although the  
colours aren't all that well chosen.    
But there's no CODE here!  Demos are    
WTF!  LOL!                              
Calm down, Oswald, the beauty is in that
old Amiga RPG.                          
BRITE LITE HALLELUJAH!!!                
Intro by Hokuto Force and Onslaught     

I'm not quite sure what the point of    
releasing this separately is.  This is  
about as average as crack intros get.   
Primary Star 06 Invitation by Anubis    
A good way to persuade me that a party  
isn't pure crap is that an invitation   
is released.  It doesn't have to be     
very impressive or anything, but the    
fact that someone takes the time to     
put together some code, music and       
graphics makes me feel confident that   
the organizers know what they're doing. 
There's nothing special about this      

particular invitation, it just does     
it's job.  The logo screen is pretty    
okay, while the picture on the second   
screen is pretty horrible, but that's   
the kind of variation we've come to     
expect from the graphics machine JSL.   
The code is also just there to display  
the graphics and the text, so I'm not   
going to waste any more text on it,     
except to say thumbs up for doing this, 
guys!  Everyone should of course visit  
the party!                              
Cinder Shadow by TND                    
Speaking of machines, Richard has       
had a tendency to throw out releases    
in great numbers in the past, but I     
have a feeling that he's calmed down a  
bit lately.  This is another one of his 
small demos, consisting of a picture,   
a tune and a scroller.  In his best     

moments he produces stuff that makes    
me think of the Compunet era.  In his   
worst moments he releases stuff that's  
just pointless.  This demo is more on   
the good side, at least potentially     
(virtually?  masochistically?  why am   
I writing so much nonsensically?).      
The story or prose poem is scene poetry,
but there's nothing wrong with the      
ambition of blowing a simple demo       
up into something more, by writing a    
scroller with a theme.  Some online     
comments suggested that more pictures,  
accompanying the text, would have made  
it more interesting.  Maybe so, but if  
the text had been good enough in itself,
more graphics might have drawn your     
attention away from it.  As it is, more 
pictures would probably have improved   
the demo.                               

Rohrschach Final by TRSI                
Someone give me a phat spliff and I     
might appreciate this.  (But then again,
if I was stoned I would probably choose 
to watch a good demo instead, and enjoy 
it immensely.)                          
Still, it's sort of unfair to just give 
this a one line review, when far less   
ambitious project have received a much  
more in-depth look.                     
Who cares, I just don't find this       


The only collection of any kind that's  
been released since that last issue     
of NSR is TND's DMC v5.0 Album #5.      
This one shouldn't surprise anyone.     
You get 8 tunes by Richard, in his      
usual style.  Some of them are pretty   
good, others aren't.                    
Richard will probably be the last       
musician in the scene to stop doing     
music collections and just throw out    
SID files instead.  Thumbs up for that, 
of course.  And hey, lamers, learn this 
now: quit hogging and pass the dutchie  
on the left hand side.  Er...  I mean,  
quit doing direct-to-HVSC releases and  
get in touch with the machine again.    
Feel the vibe of the C-64, the way      
Richard does.                           
And this will probably be the shortest  

chapter in any issue of NSR so far,     
so I'll extend it a bit by throwing     
out some greetings...  Greetings to     
the hardcore Swedish party posse,       
ie. Hollowman (are you down with        
the Cube?), Maktone with gold in his    
beard, speedmeister Zabutom, drunk      
and disorderly Pantaloon, mr. Vodka,    
dr. Sasq, my son Buzzie, his son Moh,   
their hangarounds Eleric and Jallabert, 
Pragge Praggelito, the gassed out Wix   
and his Girlfiend, mr. "I'll confiscate 
that booze, thank you" Lithis, Radiantx,
his evil twin brother Barium, Twosheds  
and all other speedwankers that I can't 
remember right now.                     


Arachnophobia #35                       
According to the directory, the long    
wait is over.  There's finally a new    
issue of Arachnophobia.  Oh, how we've  
all waited for this.  Not.  Anyway,     
we're not going to judge them by        
previous issues, although they've all   
sucked, and the editors deserve to be   
ignored for producing such utter crap   
in the past...                          
In a way, it's impressive that they've  
managed to release so many issues, but  
then again, that's not impressive in    
itself.  It would have been impressive  
if they'd manage to release 35 (or at   
least 2) great issues.  They haven't.   
Arachnophobia has always been the       
scene equivalent of crap.  ("Crap"      
is also known as "Scene World", and     

Arachnophobia have actually managed     
to be even less interesting than Scene  
World in the past.)                     
Anyway, so what about this new issue?   
Any improvements?  Well, just a short   
aside first: if you use the phrase "our 
beloved breadbox", you're bound to get  
a serious fucking slagging in this mag. 
And it's used already in the (very      
short) editorial in Arachnophobia #35.  
Back to the main question, are there any
improvements in this issue?  FUCK NO!   
The news consist of text sent to        
the editors by separate groups.         
Role dominate here, of course, as they  
are the editors.  Leon is nr. 1 on the  
graphics charts, which is of course     
Everyone loves Leon.  Stop dissing Leon.
He rules.  Great graphics, man!         

Fuck off!  Anyway, Hollowman beat me in 
the coder charts, which of course sucks 
(and that in turn means that the mag    
sucks even more), but then again, I beat
Crossbow, which doesn't happen often,   
although he hasn't released anything    
for some time, so who cares?            
Some of the other articles are so short 
it's pathetic that they even considered 
including them, much less actually      
included them of course.  I could go    
on here, but this is basically a new,   
pathetic issue of Arachnophobia, a mag  
that we haven't ever been interested in,
because it's always sucked, and which   
still sucks.  So who cares?  Well,      
obviously I do, as I wrote such a long  
review of it.  But you know, after the  
long absence and everything, I figured  
they might have actually spent all that 
time improving something.  No way, these
people don't improve, they grow inwards.
Oh, and the animation of the running    

robot, used during loading, is still as 
ugly as it was 10 issues ago.  To sum   
it up: PA-fucking-THETIC.               
[PuterFlower and PuterLord]             
Great review there, man, you're saying  
what we probably would have said if     
we'd written anything about this piece  
of crap!                                
Game Over(view) 29 and 30 by OUR FUCKING
GOD ALIH                                
You know what it's like, we release one 
issue, ALIH manages to push out two,    
although he has even more pathetic      
material to write about.  Oh well,      
he's a genius, we're epigones.          
What's a bit troubling is that ALIH is  
showing signs of giving up.  Sure, most 
of the games released these days are so 
crappy that they don't even deserve a   
one line "review" (consisting of about  
5 words, out of which at least 3 are    

"fuck").  But if Game Over(view) gives  
up, what hope is there for the rest     
of the scene?  I don't know, probably   
not much...                             
I feel like I have to quote ALIH here,  
from the editorial of issue #30:        
"As an aside, wow, thirty issues.       
What the fuck?"  Indeed, what the fuck? 
This is so fucking amazing I hardly     
know what to say.  That doesn't mean    
I'm going to stop talking, of course.   
Wow, we even got greetings in issue #30!
Indeed, we rule more than most people   
are able to comprehend.  But how cool   
are these new issues?  As cool as ever, 
of course.  One thing I've often noticed
while reading the reviews in Game       
Over(view) is that ALIH's points are so 
simple, while we always have to present 
arguments in favour of our views.       
Just look at the review of Bubbles in   

#30: "sometimes, you can't fucking fire 
- for no apparent goddamned reason".    
WTF is this shit?  What if I could just 
write: "sometimes there's not even      
a fucking DYSP on the screen in this    
fucking demo".  Wouldn't that be sweet? 
Yes, it would be sweet as fucking honey.
(Or sweet as this fucking bullshit      
that I'm pushing your way.  Oh well,    
fuck you too, asswankers!)              
I can relate to everything ALIH says    
about playtesting.  God damn, try to    
play the game and see if it works at    
all, if it doesn't, fix it!  But then   
again, I work at a company that produces
commercial games, and we seem to fail   
to do that pretty often as well, so how 
are people producing free games for the 
C-64 going to succeed?                  
So what's the verdict after all this    
bullshit?  It's of course that Game     
Over(view) always rules, while other    
publications always suck.  ALIH, keep   

this going at least until I die, please!

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