ArachnoPhobia 05 Jokes
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| JOKES RIDDLES! |
| JOKES AND RIDDLES! |
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Hi everybody, here's Carnage again with
some jokes and also some nice riddles,
so let's get on with it. Enjoy reading!
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Two idiots are walking together.
One idiot says to the other: "if you
can guess how many candies I have in my
hand, than you can have all seven!"
The other idiot: "Hmm.... Eight!!".
"How did you know that?", says the
first idiot and gives him the twelve
candies.
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A scene in a park.
She: "Honey, do you want to see where
I've been operated?
He, a bit shaking: "you are making me
curious".
She: "In that big building over there".
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Here's a riddle for you.
In the garden from some rich man, stands
a really big pear-tree, this tree has
17 big branches and 19 small branches,
each branch contains two other branches,
on each branch hangs one fruit.
How many apples are there in that tree?
(ed. you'll find the answer at the end
of the chapter.)
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On the street.
"Have you seen any cops around here?"
someone asks.
"No, I haven't seen anyone" another man
answers.
"That's great, now hand me over all your
money before I blow your brains out!!"
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Another riddle.
What is the advantage when you have a
pitbull?
(ed. you'll find the answer at the end
of the chapter.)
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A man goes to the doctor and he asks if
he could be sterilized.
"That's a serious question", the doctor
says. "did you talk about it with your
wife?".
"Sure", the man says, "She fully agrees
with me".
"And your kids?", the doctor asks.
"They also think it's ok, we held a
vote and 17 where for and 3 against".
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Pete doesn't know what the answer is
to 5-7+2.
"Look", says his father, "I shall
explain it to you".
"Ok, there are 5 people in a bus, when
7 of them get out of the bus, then 2
pleople have to get in the bus to make
it so, that nobody is in the bus, do
you understand?"
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Here is the 3rd riddle.
Peter, Tom and Stanley held a contest,
they would jump out of an airplane on
1000 KM above the earth, so that they
could see who would be the first on
the earth.
Peter weighs 45 kG, Tom 56 and Stanley
72, who was the first on earth?
(ed. you'll find the answer at the end
of the chapter.)
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He: "Do you think I'm crazy?"
She: "No, but I could be mistaking".
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The fourth riddle of this issue.
What do you get when two centipedes
embrace each other?
(ed. you'll find the answer at the end
of the chapter.)
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A doltish inventor died while testing
his new invention:
an ejector seat in a helicopter.
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Here's riddle number 5!
What will go from black to white, black
to white, black to white?
(ed. you'll find the answer at the end
of the chapter.)
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An officer to his soldiers:
"Men, I've have some bad, but also some
good news.
The bad news is, each of us has to
fill 500 bags with sand.
The good news is, there's enough sand
for every soldier."
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Patient: "Doctor, I have the feeling,
that I'm being ignored by
everyone."
Doctor: "Next!!"
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"Doctor, could you give me a potion
against worms?"
"Is this for adults?", the doctor asks.
"No idea, I really don't know how old
these worms are."
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Riddle number 6.
Why don't deaf people fuck?
(ed. you'll find the answer at the end
of the chapter.)
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Two nitwits are standing next to each
other and are both pissing.
One nitwit asks the other:
"How does it come that you have such
a nice big ray and I don't?"
The other one:
"You can get that too, if you unzip
your pants!!!"
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The seventh riddle.
It has 2 eyes and 100 teeth.
It has 100 eyes and 2 teeth.
(ed. you'll find the answer at the end
of the chapter.)
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A man has been hit by a car, so he was
taken to the hospital where a doctor
treaded him and. When finished, he told
that the man could leave the next
morning, as everything was turned out
to be just fine.
The next morning the doctor probably
changed his mind, as he told the man
to stay. So the man asked him for an
explanation and the doctor aswered:
"This morning, I read the newspaper and
read that you where a bit worser to it
than I thought you where."
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A teacher asks his pupils: "The ones who
think that they are stupid, please stand
up".
The whole class stays in their chairs,
except for one girl.
"So you think that you are stupid", the
teacher asks.
"No sir, but I think that it's a pitty,
that you have to stand there alone".
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Yet another riddle, number 8.
Where does a toothache start with?
(ed. you'll find the answer at the end
of the chapter.)
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Answer riddle 1 : There aren't any
apples on a pear-tree!
Answer riddle 2 : You get a newspaper
every morning, even
if you don't have a
subscription to it!!!
Answer riddle 3 : Adam and Eve!!!
Answer riddle 4 : A zip-fastener!!!
Answer riddle 5 : A penguin which roles
down an iceberg!!!
Answer riddle 6 : Because they never
heard of it.
Answer riddle 7 : A crocodile.
A bus full of aged
people.
Answer riddle 8 : With the letter "T"
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So you've finished reading this chapter,
well than, press fire to get back to
the menu.
We'll meet again in the next issue of
Arachnophobia.
Carnage is gone!!!
