Skyhigh 21 Independence
From C64 Diskmag Wiki
I N D E P E N D A N C E >>The Scene does not affect me, it's just a hobby!<< This or similar sentences can be often heard or read from other sceners. But is that true? Can your real life and your scene-life be easily divided? I don't think so, and I really don't think, that anybody could really say this, when he reconsidered about it a se- cond time... Just take the normal way of starting as a scener, you contact somebody and start up working on this machine, as a graphician, you pixel logos for various products, the more spread, the better, as a musician you do tunes for various mags, as a cracker, you try to get the latest ories, and as a swapper, you try to get as many new contacts as possible, to have the newest stuff. All of this takes time, and this time gets subtracted from your sparetime. The way to fame in the scene means being active in the beginning and fulfilling this demand forces you to cut down your other activities, and this is some affect on your life... Moreover there is the friendship, yes, the friendship lots of people muck about these days. Walking to the mailbox bears a lot more tension, when you know, that there may be a sending in addition to them bills to be paid and the commercial crap. Sooner or later you will discover yourself walking more than one time to the mailbox, as the postman "may" have for- gotten your sending, or "may" be late... This leads to a slight addiction, you send out more often, you write to new contacts and scan the mags for your handle. This tendency for getting commonly known lies within our subconscious, we can't do any- thing against it, it's a natural urge... Then you start prostituting yourself, you do your work for anybody, who wants it, you crack every shit that comes out, or you answer any geek, that sends to you. This period could last the whole scenetime, like some other graphician I know, for example, did a logo for an anti-intro, and on the other hand did the logos for the mag of this special group. Hypo- crisy blooms, or what? Sooner or later life will fight back, you will be for- ced to cut down your activity, may it be professional reasons, money problems, or a relation, taking more time than the normal ones. At this stage you will re- cognize, that with your hyperactivity in the beginning you formed a role of your own, that people cannot understand you can not fulfill anylonger. You can sense a certain pressure from the scene, they got used to you being that active and doing some fast work here and there, and you feel somehow sorry disappointing them. At this stage you will inevitably recognize, that the scene does affect your life, you'll recognize it the first evening you skip getting out and spend your time answering that send or doing that logo instead. This stage requires a certain self-defense. You got to take your limits, you got to distinguish yourself from the others, you got to have enough self-confi- dence to say "NO" without fearing to be attacked or loosing profile. As a graphician you start going away from the lookalike style, you push yourself further into making more artistic and complex shapes and you start taking as many time as you want for it. This independance however requires backup from your group, and in this period you'll discover, if your group is the right one or not... But back to the topic, independance, being a scener takes a lot of time, most probably more time than another hobby like collecting stamps or dancing. This time is substracted from your sparetime. On the one hand it's really cool, to be known, to be admired, to have a good chart position, to be an "idol" or let's say a creativity-source for others, but on the other side, it's a lot of public demand and pressure. The more you get known, the more is expected from you, and being the active dude, makes people easily for- get, that you may have a real life, that demands and puts pressure on you the same way, if not more... It's tricky, the more you do, the more will be expec- ted from you, no matter if the result is better or worse. I could go back to my starting days as well, and do fast 20 minutes logos for everybody, but it just doesn't give me anything anymore. I am known, now I see my work as a graphician more as an ex- pression of my creativity, than just helping out others. I start switching off the compi, without sa- ving at all, when I don't consider a work of mine good enough, I start telling others not to ask me for gfx, when they want something fast, and I am in control of the time I spend on the compi. Achieving this stage took me a somewhat longer time, but it's necessary, and I won't tell you, that the scene doesn't affect me anylonger, I will just tell you, that I found my way dealing with it! Cup!d./.Avantgarde