http://c64mags.untergrund.net/wiki/index.php?title=The_Link_15_Guru_Talk&feed=atom&action=historyThe Link 15 Guru Talk - Revision history2024-03-29T05:48:02ZRevision history for this page on the wikiMediaWiki 1.19.0http://c64mags.untergrund.net/wiki/index.php?title=The_Link_15_Guru_Talk&diff=6396&oldid=prevJazzcat: Created page with "<pre>GURU'S CHAPTER by GURU/TSR this month i will be conitinuing the article about real programmers that i started last month norry has short arms THE..."2013-01-13T01:48:23Z<p>Created page with "<pre>GURU'S CHAPTER by GURU/TSR this month i will be conitinuing the article about real programmers that i started last month norry has short arms THE..."</p>
<p><b>New page</b></p><div><pre>GURU'S CHAPTER<br />
<br />
<br />
by GURU/TSR<br />
<br />
<br />
this month i will be conitinuing the<br />
article about real programmers that i<br />
started last month<br />
<br />
<br />
norry has short arms<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
THE REAL PROGRAMMER AT WORK<br />
<br />
the typical RP wouldn't be caught<br />
dead writing accountant programmes in<br />
cobol or sorting mailing lists for<br />
PEOPLE magazine. an RP would work at a<br />
place like,<br />
<br />
los alamos lab,writing simulation for<br />
atomic bombs<br />
national security agency decoding the<br />
russian transmissions<br />
it was the work of 1000's of RPs that<br />
got us to the moon before the ruskies<br />
work for boeing,with cruise missiles<br />
some of the most awesome RPs work at<br />
the jet labs in california,many know the<br />
op sys off by hearts and have managed to<br />
program bit of space junk to hit rows of<br />
residencial windows after 6 years in<br />
space<br />
<br />
one current plan is for a spacecraft<br />
to pass within 80 km (+/-3) of the sur-<br />
face of mars,no-one is going to trust a<br />
pascal programme(r)to do this<br />
<br />
oh and by the way,real programmers<br />
can write fortran programmes in any<br />
language<br />
THE REAL PROGRAMMER AT PLAY<br />
<br />
a real programmer often plays the<br />
same way he works,with computers<br />
<br />
tips on RP's at play:<br />
at a party,RP's are talking about op<br />
sys security and how to get around it<br />
at a footy game, RPs are comparing res-<br />
ults with predictions on fanfold paper<br />
at the beach,RP's drawflowcharts in the<br />
sand<br />
at the funeral,RP's are saying "poor<br />
george,&amp; he almost got that sort routine<br />
working before the coronary"<br />
in the grocery store the RP is the one<br />
who insists on running the cans over the<br />
laser check himself,because he couldn't<br />
ever trust keypunch operators to get it<br />
right first time<br />
----------<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
RP'S HABITAT<br />
<br />
surrounding an RP's computer is,<br />
<br />
listing of all the programmes he has<br />
ever worked on<br />
some half filled cups of cold coffee,<br />
occasionally, the cups will contain<br />
orange juice<br />
copies of the os jcl manual open at the<br />
interesting pages<br />
lineprinter snoopy calender for 1969<br />
wrappings for snacks<br />
an old old flowchart template, real prog<br />
ramers write programes,not documents<br />
an RP is capable of working 30,40 even<br />
50 hours at a stretch under intense pres<br />
sure,in fact,he prefers in that way.<br />
<br />
bad response time doesn't bother him,<br />
it gives him sleep time in between com-<br />
piles<br />
<br />
if their isn't much pressure on him for<br />
a particular job,the RP makes it inter-<br />
esting by working on a small, interest-<br />
ing part of the programme for the first<br />
nine weeeks and finishing the rest in<br />
the last week<br />
<br />
GENERALLY<br />
no RP works 9 to 5(unless its at night)<br />
<br />
RP's dont wear ties<br />
RP's don't wear high heeled shoes<br />
RP's arrive at work in time for lunch<br />
<br />
RP's might not even know their spouses<br />
name,but they know the entire ASCII<br />
alphabet<br />
<br />
RP's don't know how to cook,shops aren't<br />
open at 3 in the morning,so they survive<br />
on mars bars and coffee<br />
<br />
THE FUTURE<br />
<br />
RP's are concerned about the future,<br />
high school leavers can't do hex maths<br />
without a calculator, college grads are<br />
getting degrees without even seeing<br />
fortran<br />
<br />
however there is still a demand for RP's<br />
and their legend will continue with the<br />
latest unix upgrade ie,2 completely<br />
incompatible user interfaces,and with<br />
'C',beside the fact that it is structure<br />
it can be appreciated,it's like having<br />
the best bits of fortran and assembly<br />
thrown in to one. yes the future isn't<br />
looking too bad for RP's<br />
<br />
as long as there are ill-defined goals<br />
bizarre bugs,and unrealistic schedules,<br />
there will always be a real programer<br />
willing to jump in and solve the problem<br />
and leave the documentation for later<br />
long live fortran!!!!!!<br />
<br />
<br />
anon<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
guru is back.<br />
<br />
<br />
good artcile eh? if you want the full<br />
article, write to me with about $1 for<br />
photocopies,and i'll send it to you,or<br />
you can get the 1986 your computer year<br />
book<br />
<br />
thats enough from me.<br />
<br />
hooroo from the guru<br />
<br />
three-tree-slo-toth</pre></div>Jazzcat