Ahead 3 Girls About Boys
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Revision as of 14:02, 11 November 2013 by Xiii
girls about boys written by a girlfriend of me(dch) the phone rang. i picked it up. i'm free,free! gabi yelled. "i'm fine, thank you, and you?" "ok, here's what happened,"she said. "yesterday, i was ready to die. i thought it was my last day in the play, the original actress was coming back. in the play, i'm this independent per- son and i run around and have opinions and interact with other people and it sounds nuts. but lately, only when i'm on the stage have i felt alive and happy, have i felt like me. i was real- ly upset, and then, suddenly, i thought i don't need the play to feel alive in my actual life! so i broke up with marc i'm no longer marc's girlfriend and, also, i'm still in the play!" i felt a wave of nostalgia, like when i hear american pie on the radio. i rememered the day my last boyfriend and i were both crying, and then he walked out of door and the door closed and i sat thinking nothing for a few minutes, and then something snapped in my brain, and suddenly, out of now- here i remembered who i was, my aware- ness of self flooded through me. it was a very mid-seventies early-feminist moment, when independence was prized over connection. then the phone rang again and i was back in the nineties. "well" said ulla, "he's ruined my life, so i'm going to ruin his. he'll be really sorry he fucked me over. " you dont have to let him ruin your life,"i said. "there's a certain amount of chice involved. i know he was sleep- ing two others girls and lied to you hundreds of times, but...." "he's up for this job," said ulla, who is a very powerful girl in publishing, "and i've got a call in to make sure he doesn't get it. do you think he's miserable? do you think he misses me?" "what do you care what he thinks? the boy's a scumbag." "i know, i know, but do you think he's sad about me? i checked his mail this morning. i threw away his bank state- ment. i visited his neighbors. they hate him now. i want him to crawl back to me. on his hands and knees. i want to tell him to go fuck himself." "guess what happended to yesterday," i said. i miss him so much," she said. i finally hung up with her and went to meet peter at the corner coffee shop. i'm heartbroken," peter said. "still?" i asked testily. "oh,sorry. it just seems that everyone i know is breaking up and they're way deep into it and they're all calling me for advice and i dont know what to say any more. can't anyone talk about the weather?" "looks like rain," said peter. "doesn't it, though?" "rains reminds me of her," he said. "i thought it might," i said. i cant believe she's gone," he said. "she's right down the street, and she's gone. i really fucked up big." "look, you weren't even that crazy for her until the first time you two broke up, remember?" "no it wasn't exactly that, here's what happened...." "don't tell me. the worst thing about people splitting up is that they have this compulsion to relate every detail of every munuscule moment of the breakup to anyone who will listen i know i'm mean to you, but i have been florence nightingale for months, and you're ready to move on" "no i'm not." "yes you're . i know that breaking up is a primal pain, major sugery of the psyche, almost as bad if some- one has died. at least you're not being a regular guy and pretending it's not happening. guys tend to avoid all the grief and anger and consequently stay damaged all that hurt and rage festering inside them for years. but i think your are staying attached to her. you've got to get a grip. let her go she left you, she's going on with her life. and you're getting into this pain too much. you know what ulla's doing?" "i dont care." "ulla broke up with the crep six months ago. she still thinks about him every day.she's devoted to ruin ing his life. she's still comp- letely involved with him. she's afraid to be alone and this is her way of staying connected. peter,move forward. get a life." "oh what do you know?" peter said. i went home. the phone rang. "well, it looks like kurt and i are separating," said rachel, " i hate that son of a bitch! i hate all men!" "ok rachel listen to me. here's what can expect..." and i told her everything i had learned since this hideous epidemic of breakups began. that you lose probably evert sgred if self-esteem you ever had. when you rejected(and even if you're the one intiating the breakup,you feel rejected) by the person with whom you have the most primal connection,your most miserable thoughs about yourself confirmed. you feel ugly and stupid and fat and smelly. you feelutterly un- lovable. you hit rock bottom. but it doesn't last forever. "well, aren't you a little of sun shine," rachel said. "then there's the feeling of aban donment, and the humiliation of facing people and admitting you couldn't make it work. and the dreadful fear that no one new will ever love you again..." "shut up or i'll shoot you" rachel said. "on the other hand, if you were with the right person you wouldn't have broken up. so after you go through the clouds. you'll feel re- leased frome some kind of awful bon- dage and wonder what you could have seen in the guy anyway. you'll feel free! free like gabi. she's bubbling with joy." we hang up. the phone rang (again) "i'm so miserable!" gabi cried! music by ???