A-Head 02 About Girls

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stay tuned and read this story about men
and girls written by doc holliday & his 
brother dr.senat ok lets start and enjoy
           boys versus girls            
         the neverending story          
 ever ask yourself what's happening on  
 the social scene that just might reach 
 out and bite you on the ass?           
item: a boy i know meets a girl at a    
disco, dance with her, necks with her   
on the dance floor in front of others.  
they join his friends outside and con-  
tinue necking in the back seat of a car 
while they're driven to the party.there 
the two disappear into a room and come  
out in about 30 minutes. all seems fine 
until a day later, when the gilr goes   
to the police and accuses the man of    
rape there is no physical evidence of   
rape but the boy is arrested,jailed,    
tried,sentenced and imprisoned.it's his 
word against hers.he loses.             
item:a guy i know, a part-time lecturer 
at the city college,takes one his former
students out to lunch at her request.she
is a bright but insecure girl who be-   
lieves herselfto be physically unat-    
tractove and says so. he says in re-    
sponse, and i quote,"you are very at-   
tractive girl. if i were in your age    
group and single, i would probably ask  
you for a date".she goes back to the    
department chairmen, reports that the   
man has sexually harassed her and in-   
sist that his contract not be renewed   
because he is a threat to girl students 
the chairmen agrees and it's done.the   
guy i know is dropped from the faculty, 
no question asked!!                     
the war between the sexes has a uniquely
virulent form in todays culture.false   
allegations of harassment and date rape 
are springing up like condoms in spring-
face the facts,man.you live in  a high- 
risk social environment.if a woman bring
false sexual charges against you no mat-
ter how flimsy her evidence or belated  
her action, your protest on innocence   
may not beleved. this the of the werwolf
hunt. and the last time i checked,you   
looked a lot more a werwolf than she did
before you go out on a date, before you 
become trusting in conversation with a  
female acquaintance, you'd better ask   
yourself some basic questions.what con- 
stitutes sexual harassment in her terms?
is it harassment for you to look at with
interest? to talk with her casually? to 
ask her for a date? to crack a sexual   
joke? to ask for a kiss or a hug at the 
end of the evening? does she generally  
advertise that men are slime while women
are victims? better check her out"know  
before you go,sucker" should be your    
dating slogan write that down and paste 
it over your computer terminal. know be-
fore you go!!!!!                        
for extra protection, i've devised a low
risk dating kit.you may want to take a  
look at it. am i joking when i list     
these suggestions? yes and no .         
- hire a private attorney               
granted,his retainer is a few thousands 
of dollars a day and it is a little aw- 
kward having him around all the time    
especially on the date itself but re-   
member dating is a high-risk these days 
your attorney's job is to follow you 24 
hour a day and advise you on your every 
move/(you should choose a male lawyer,  
of course because if your lawyer is a   
female ... well you know people may     
spread the story all over town)         
-have your prospective date sign a      
 dating contract                        
this is imperative. you and your att    
orney design it and print it with your  
attorney present,have her read the form 
answer any questions she may have and   
then have sign it. among other, she ag- 
rees on this form that she's responsible
for her own behavior, that she is mature
enough to handle a dating situation and 
that she has a genuine interest in have 
a date with you.no signature no date!!  
-hires a television crew                
you need a cameraman to shoot a video re
cord of your every move and probably an 
audio man to check sound levels.better  
have a guy to carry the battery packs,  
too. and you need a special infrared tv 
camera for night work, along with a     
dircetional mika and extra video tape.  
-arrage satellite surveillance          
the cost of this one? could be in the   
millions, but think of what it saves in 
the long run. insist on something like  
the kh-11 or one of its later versions. 
used properly,this baby can spot a zit  
on your nose from 350 miles in the space
and it cal follow you anywhere.you'll   
need a sophisticated team to program it!
and and launch it a satellite-dish op-  
erater and phote-analysis expert and    
some good code breakers to scramble your
data so that her satellite transmission.
(you bet,space captain,she may have her 
own satellite,too!)                     
-hire fingerprint and voiceprint analyz-
ers, as well as polygraph experts phy-  
sical surveillance people and phone frea
ks who tap into anything and everything.
right it's getting crowed with all these
people following you around. can't be   
helped,though. this is the nineties. you
might try former fbi personnel for most 
of the surveillance jobs. and don't fo- 
rget to take a lie-dectector test after 
test after every date.have her take one 
,too. seal the test results in a bank   
vault. you may nedd them. also, ask her 
to to sign a release form after the date
testifying to the fact that in her op-  
inion, you behaved yourself. be sure    
take your ink pad and towel along that  
first evening,too. have to get her fing-
erpringts,you understand nothing per-   
sonal just business. because a guy can't
be too careful these days, you know what
i mean?                                 
yeahh i think you know what i mean!!!   
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