http://c64mags.untergrund.net/wiki/index.php?title=Domination_05_Dumb_%26_dumber&feed=atom&action=historyDomination 05 Dumb & dumber - Revision history2024-03-29T07:43:50ZRevision history for this page on the wikiMediaWiki 1.19.0http://c64mags.untergrund.net/wiki/index.php?title=Domination_05_Dumb_%26_dumber&diff=4162&oldid=prevYmgve at 22:22, 17 July 20082008-07-17T22:22:18Z<p></p>
<p><b>New page</b></p><div>* Dumb & Dumber *<br />
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Greetings dear reader, welcome to a somewhat new chapter for this magazine. The concept of satire or a lighter side to the scene is not a new concept in magazines. Originally started in the Sh0ck magazine, scene satire changes per magazine, say between Sh0ck and The Pulse or between Vandalism and Sh0ck.<br />
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I hope to add another twist in the irony field, pure harmless fun and entertainment.<br />
None of the following is real or has happened and must be considered for the purpose of a laugh and not an insult.<br />
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Contributions are welcome, and if support is good, this section may turn into a regular chapter for Domination.<br />
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Now over to YOU!<br />
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Respected scener caught with pants down?<br />
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Talented German scener Hok/AVT/Empire took what was coming just a little to quickly lately, notorious for his sexual pranks and perversions on young school girls, he's been found out again. Sources indicate he is having an elaborate phone affair with a Nebraska/USA C64 sysop. The female sysop, who will remain anonymous, reports that he wants to masturbate over the telephone. Hok states:<br />
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"But I’m not the only one she's into, I am thinking about dumping her, apparently someone from the UK and another man from Belgium are also screwing her, she's just a three timing bitch!"<br />
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But Westbam/Legend claims:<br />
"The truth here is finally revealed, this loser is just a Homo On Knees.."<br />
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Meanwhile at the home of Chotaire/Alphaflight:<br />
tap tap.. der der.. (pause) tap tap ding! ding! ding! ding! At last! i've found the method to generate at & t calling cards!.. bahahaha I'm the best, AT&T suckers will never learn!!.. hahahaha.."<br />
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and at the house of Jack Alien/AVT & Suicide/AVT: <br />
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Suicide:<br />
"ya, ya I’m really going to fix you this time, take this!!.." huhhuhuh (moaning sounds) <br />
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Jack Alien:<br />
"huh huh, that's it baby.. whoooah!! what a crack.. ugh ugh gnnn.."<br />
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Extremist/Empire longer jail sentence?!<br />
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The long winded case of OJ Simpson has come to an end. OJ (the Orange Jump suit man) was convicted NOT GUILTY, after a mad raving Canadian man killed all 12 members of the 80% white coloured jury.<br />
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He was heard screaming:<br />
"Empire will live again, hahaha, quality at its finest". It is still not known how the person escaped from high security prison in Toronto/Canada. Since, the OJ Simpson jury have been replaced by a black jury and he was released after a NOT GUILTY plea was <br />
heard. The Canadian was returned to Toronto to serve life imprisonment for murder and for lame future forecasts.<br />
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* Top 10 scene singles: <br />
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1. I wanna be a cowboy - Chotaire of Alpha Flight.<br />
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2. I'm too sexy - Deff of Avantgarde.<br />
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3. Like a virgin - Styx of Alphaflight.<br />
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4. Yellow submarine - Nightshade of Success*TRC.<br />
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5. I am da best - Tranziie of Hitmen.<br />
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6. Hair - Kingfisher/Triad & Jazzcat/Onslaught.<br />
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7. Big is beautiful - Airwolf of Genesis*Project.<br />
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8. Jailhouse rock - Majesty/Onslaught & Tyree/Legend<br />
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9. Hotel California - Thor of Glory.<br />
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10. The man with the plan - Newscopy of F4CG.<br />
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Did you know that...<br />
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* Ignorance/AFL enjoys cracking games 24 hours a day and does jewel versions whilst wearing a snotrag as a mini-skirt?<br />
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* Jack Alien/AVT does the same whilst chatting to his best scene pal and girlfriend, Kirby of Atlantis...<br />
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* Calypso/AFL/AMN cheats stamps with purple electrical tape? (Ed: C'mon Terry use the glue!)<br />
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* Crossfire/Motiv8 completely recodes games from machine language to basic so that the chances of<br />
needing TRSI to NTSC fix the code is very slim?<br />
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* Hain/F4CG carded a brand new $2000 pair of glasses for Massive Onslaught/Style. MO' said 'it's impossible to NTSC fix' so back to the normal 'Massive Glasses' for him...<br />
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Did you know that... <br />
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* Hunter/Talent/Ikari/Hotline/Extacy and Angel Dust/Laxity/Tide/Dle/Lepsi are the same person?<br />
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* Deff/AVT personally knows the graphician of the killer game 'Baby Blues' like the back of his nose?<br />
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* Newscopy/F4CG is married to a 300 pound bowl of camel shit?<br />
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* Jazzcat/Onslaught is currently in a court battle with German software label 'Bastards with noodles'?<br />
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* RRR/Oxyron's principal to an objective magazine is quote; 'In order to fly you must completely miss the ground.'<br />
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and at the rehabilitation centre of NTI/Angry: 'I apologize dear readers for the extremely bad smell, but my magazine REALLY stinks!'.<br />
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Peacemaker finds new skills!<br />
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After a great progress in the NTSC fixing department Rene' has struck oil again, with another brilliant and totally original solution to a long term problem. Peacemaker says revealed to Domination... 'Doing two things at the one time is now indeed possible for example, slamming your erect penis with a door over 27 times will make you cum and eventually speak & write better English also, not that I would know of course...'<br />
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Over the past several months Rene's English level has improved dramatically, one may draw their own conclusions...<br />
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What's the difference between The Mistress/Angry and a Commodore 64? You only have to punch information into a computer once. (Ed: joy joy, i should move to Europe just for the cool boxing bag!)<br />
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* Top 10 scene movies *<br />
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1. Forrest Gump an autobiography - Enduro of Fairlight<br />
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2. Debbie done me - Bod of Talent.<br />
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3. Wares world - Jack Alien of Avantgarde.<br />
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4. Green Peace - Freestyle of Avantgarde.<br />
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5. Rejected - Shok'ray/Ex-Hitmen.<br />
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6. Lost at semen - The Mistress of Angry.<br />
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7. The comeback - The Mercenary of Empire.<br />
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8. Oh Stephanie, oh! - Nme of Illusion.<br />
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9. Mr.Bean in NY - Vengeance of Onslaught.<br />
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10. The Stand - Chotaire of AFL and AT&T.<br />
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and just another COCK avoiding post..<br />
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Formatting lamer pressures sysops:<br />
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Respected sysop and Texan scener Alchemist/Success*TRC have had major set-backs lately with his BBS, 'The Dungeon' being completely formatted for the 15th time in 2 weeks... According to reliable sources from Sweden, Kyle then went into a mad frenzy and ate his hard drive, C64 and <br />
two telephones. His farts now smell like dot matrix printer ribbons and all he can say for himself is.. 'AT&T, how may I help you?'<br />
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The same goes for fellow member Guzzler/Success*TRC, reliable sysop of 'The Lost Empire', after his board was formatted he consumed so much alcohol that his regular weekly stomach pump-out wasn't enough, he has turned into what one would describe as a reflection of a large urine sample.<br />
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...and at the cottage of Manfred Trenz:<br />
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Ring ring... ring ring.. <br />
Manfred-: "Hello?" <br />
Caller-: "Hi! I am a c64 representative and I wish to interview you for my magazine Relax. What do you say? '<br />
Manfred-: "Sorry, no interviews, I’m busy." click.<br />
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and at the home of Marc/Alpha Flight:<br />
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Ring ring...<br />
Marc-: "Hello, Marc speaking... "<br />
Caller-: "Great news, I have just completed a interview with Manfred Trenz, wanna leech it from me?"<br />
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Wisdom and violence don't mix:<br />
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Derbyshire Ram/AVT was raided earlier this week, F.A.S.T officials say they received a call from a Mike in Germany with information on an illegal activist located in the UK. 'We quickly intercepted only to be struck with the offender's walking cane.' said one sorely beaten<br />
F.A.S.T employees. Derbyshire Ram's wife, a judge by profession gave Barry a charge of guilty on software fraud related crimes and sentenced him to 2 years home imprisonment with no computer.<br />
(Ed: damn life’s a bitch, eh Barry?!)<br />
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Domination: <br />
That's all for this issue, any weird scene activities, do you know something funny about a scener? put pen to paper and reach us at the Editorial address.<br />
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In next issue, stay tuned for some bizarre homosexual activities between a German original supplier and a graphician...<br />
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Best regards, <br />
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Jazzcat/Onslaught.</div>Ymgve