Propaganda 12 ch07
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W S WELCOME STRANGER.. You just dared to enter the castle of illusions, the place where we have the most influence on you, the place where we manipulate you, your thoughts and desires... You can run, you can flee, still none ever discovered the secret of our success, welcome to the secret laboraties of satisfaction, perfection and entertainment... As usual it needs Majesty to guide you through the following pages, that contain the obligatory stuff plus a couple of extra goodies from your Santa Claus since you have been nice over the previous month.. We kick off with some more extravagant news and gossip from the elite scene, namely 'Stop the Press' likely the most interesting and as a matter of fact, the most hated part in here (incase your handle fills up some lines, others may have a good laugh tho.. about YOU!!) Then we have a special report about the groovy guys in Illusion, certainly something you shouldn't miss, obtained and written by our special undercover agents. Then we go on with some more quotes from elite and not so elite people, you gotta read between the lines and you might recognize a 'bit' of irony. Later event is a cute story about a new group being build just recently.. ENJOY.. And we end this with the last words (obvious), a 'thank you' list to some who deserve it for whatever reasons. As a matter of fact I couldn't get the interview with DUKE in time since he's still busy explaining a load of people that his groups name 'REGINA' has nothing in common with the wellknown 'VAGINA' and he just told me that he's definately NOT gonna change his handle to COITUS INTERRUPTUS like some other magazine invented he would. Furthermore, THE PULSE already should have been out since a while but DUKE couldn't find anything to rag on last months Propaganda that's why he got stucked in his gossip chapter and currently knows nothing to fill it with, sad Alex, we in the Propaganda staff hope this issue and especially this chapter brings back your lost inspiration.. You may even feel free to copy something out of here to avoid any longer delays, I want to see the new issue, I just LOVE your charset.. Ehrm well, anything else... Oh yes, incase you ain't a owner of a modem, mail me a letter, disk, postcard or your monthly sellery to: Majesty XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX And there we go.. S T P STOP THE PRESS... DUKE, who recently build a new group called REGINA (in memory of his grand- mother) exclusively explained us the principle of how to make a magazine just like THE PULSE: 'Well, it needs Propaganda in either way, meaningwise and the G*P magazine to fill half the mag with useless rags and threats, furthermore it is VERY important to stretch the texts to its maximum and possibly include as many hard to say/ spell words to make the text look, lemme say it like this, experient or more elite alike so that even the last mail trader believes its good !' In addition to this DUKE is going to release a handy note file along with the next edition of THE PULSE 'Better homes and magazine editing'. Whole GENESIS*PROJECT sweden has been gone for a while, curing out their intimate desease NEWSCOPY brought into the group on a private G*P weekend orgy. ARGOS/SUNRISE recently discovered the advantages of a BLUE BOX and CARDS, here's what he said: 'That's so damn cool, now that I use this stuff my phone bills are below the usual 1OOO+ US Dollars.. You should try it !' (ED. We do since years ???) MAJESTY recently has been trying to get rid of his daily hangovers with various ways, but nothing really seems to work. When we questioned him what his problem is he came up with this: 'Well, I don't really know what it could be, I take 5 Alka Selzer pills and mix them with a glass of Jack Daniels, but my hangover even gets worse ?! Weird..' (ED. For risks and secondary effects request your doc or pharmacist) PURGATORY is down. Illusion USA pretends that BRETT moved and has no time for a board anymore, but we in the Propaganda staff ofcourse know the truth. BRETT got jailed for public drug consume. Talking about Illusion, theres an exclusive report about them a couple of pages ahead. The situation in RED SECTOR is getting worse, now PSYCHOBILLY announced he'd kick 5O% of the members (that's about 37 people) if they don't follow the RSI main rules no more (1) 'Call EACH board around the globe atleast twice or better more a day' (2) 'Pay your monthly 2O german marks in time, else I might get in trouble to pay off MY phonebill' (QUOTE COMMUNIST) 'Mc Donalds ist einfach guuuuuut....' Latest Rsi Members: Quasimodo (group-fool, he's to blame for everything that goes wrong), TPM (The Paying Member, the new mail trader in Rsi from Lumpur/Malaysia) and Hunchback (rumours say he is a belgian and in another group aswell?) Furthermore we finally found out what TMN (The Main Nigger) does for Rsi, hacking cards for ALL members on c-64, Pc, Amiga, Snes, Gameboy, Atari 26OO, Spectrum, Sega Megadrive and cleaning Psychobilly's shoes once a week. BEAVIS+BUTTHEAD-The Movie, coming into the european theatres shortly, including RADAR as BEAVIS and TYREE as BUTTHEAD (ED. Suits your intelect perfectly) We just got ahold of RADAR in a short break (QUOTE RADAR): 'The making of this movie is quite cool, I just have some problems keeping the scripts in mind.. Hehehe, hoho, thats cool.. How was that ?!' (ED. PERFECT Hartmut, go ahead..) SHADOW got busted for abusing 95O's and got locked away again.. Not in a jail though but along with his mom in a seperate cell of her house.. In the meantime THOR exchanges broken broomsticks for Andy's mom and feeds him with foreskin cheese, provided by COLDRAKE. Scary. End. But go on reading, more coming. T A I TRUTH ABOUT ILLUSION ! After all those internal fights and struggles inside ILLUSION it's just obligatory that we in the Propaganda staff had to take care and sent our special agent COOPER to bring light into the gloomy situation in the group. In his note 'Explanations' Freestyle accused BRETT for being too stupid to keep his board PURGATORY online at once (eg half the drives were off hook etc). When we asked BRETT about this he had quite some interesting things in reply (QUOTE BRETT) 'Well what FREESTYLE and the rest didn't knew was that PURGATORY originally ran on ONE 1541 only (the system drive), all the wares drives actually were FAKE DIRS, easily to be edited with a normal DIR EDITOR, thats why you can't leech shit off my wares drives (makes things a LOT easier, I mean, leeching ties up a board too much anyways sooo)' (ED. Well ??!) Next Illusion member we paged was DERBYSHIRE RAM and after he replugged his third tooths he had to say something to the current situation aswell (QUOTE DERBY RAM) 'Since my wife has strictly forbidden that I call boards again by putting a toll free number blocker on my line I was rather addicted to BRETT to call me that we actually could transfer games, but since Brett is pretty much on drugs he preferly called ICE CUBE and smoked joints online with him. Sad but true, thats why we actually lost a couple of releases.' (ED. Mhhh) Next one to ask was TRONIC who just returned back to sweden from Japan (QUOTE TRONIC) 'Sayonara, I don't really have complaints about the american members, I actually voted SUSIEUZI into the group because her handle sounds simular to SUSHI, my favourite food since my Japan stay.' Next we asked were the two inactive norwegian members HERO & GENE (QUOTE HERO) 'Hehehehe, well, hehehehe, I dunno, hehehe, ILLUSION #1, hehe...' (QUOTE GENE) 'Since I still gotta do 2O31 out of my 3482 hours of social work for phone fraud and selling PC stuff I'm not quite much informed what's been going on in the group, but may I tell how I spend my 8 hours a day of social work in our local zoo ?' (ED. No thanks) When we tried to call SUSIEUZI for a statement a sort of answering machine picked up on her number saying 'TO JOIN THE DOMINANT MASTER AND SERVANT STROKING SESSION EITHER ENTER YOUR VALID CREDIT OR CALLING CARD NOW OR CALL US TOLL FREE AT THE MULTI NODE LINES 1800-382-PAIN OR 1800-382-HURT' and as no one of us had a working card we had to drop her off our list (ED. Atleast we finally got to know HOW ILS US supplies the euro members with cards, ehrm ?!) Later that month, both the american section and DERBY RAM released a second and third note accusing FREESTYLE to be a liar & backstabber (ED. Much easier for BARRY, so he could leave his tooths out the mouth) When we questioned FREESTYLE about all the happenings he was rather outraged and shouted 'FUCK! Now that I left ILLUSION can be considered dead. I was the most important member, the brain of the group..' PROPAGANDA: 'Thomas, what was your job to be precise ?' FREESTYLE: 'Obviously that is NOT your business, but still, I was the brain of the group..' (ED. Well..) Final conclusion, there might have been problems, but they still didn't figured WHAT.. But then again, FREESTYLE is no longer a part of the group, so they might have finally recognized.. Latest newsflash from Illusion, according to DERBYRAM he signed a commercial contract with 'Kukident 3rd tooths cleaning paste' to finance further originals. TRONIC stopped releasing WIDE SCREEN and started up with a new magazine called 'WOK' including recipes of asian specialities. So good luck all you Illusion'ers, and may the dope be with you.. (ED. Get outta here BRETT) Agent Cooper! I N M W M H IT'S NO MISTERY-WE MAKE HISTORY! Another collection of 'famous' peoples quotes, it took a while to think of a few remarkable, but you just have call to call three boards a day and you'll be filled in into some peoples wicked attitudes/thoughts immediately. RADAR/LAGERFELD 'No, EVEN if theres an ENIGMA placed in the memory of my version, I did NOT recrack it..' 'OFCOURSE I can Blue Box... ...but I need that card because, blablabla...' 'I am so strong, I am so beautyful, I am so intelligent.. Damn, my wet diaper itches, MOOOOOOOOOOMY ??!!!' EDWIN VAN SANTEN/2OCC 'Damn, wish I could give you a card but the 5O,OOO I pulled yesterday are all dead, weird ?!' BOD/TALENT 'Uhhhh Baby, mhhhh, ohhhh (moan, moan) ahhh, lick lick' FREESTYLE 'Now that I left, Illusion is dead...' VORTEX/EPIC 'Me upload wares new of Epic to wrong drives coz' I know not what rules are on boards' (GET A DICTIONARY.ED) CROSSFIRE/EPIC 'This game MIGHT be 8 years old but I don't think it's been released on the boards before, soooo...' SOLAR/F4CG 'My chickens kept me busy that's why Pirates is delayed..' DUKE/REGINA 'Crunching my text files ?! What for, obviously you don't know what you are talking about, the long files make the whole represation of THE PULSE a lot better, who'd bother leeching if it's 2OO+ blocks shorter ?' PSYCHOBILLY/RSI 'We just removed a couple of members off the list, so we are down to 3O again..' ROCKSTAR/TALENT 'Krishna, hare hare..' T L A T S TURBO LAMERS-A TRUE STORY! Well, this happened to a very good friend of mine (let's name him KEVIN, to avoid anonym bomb threats and killing attempts of people involved in this report) a couple of months ago. He lived in the city of ****** (obviously I have to keep this anonym aswell) and belonged to a group which in 1989 was one of the best but now has been quit for quite some time. My friend used to mailtrade and was known for being a pretty decent coder having won various demo compos and parties. Then one warm thuesday in may his doorbell rang and a strange dude stood behind the door, holding a grey plastic bag full of disks. WHO THE FUCK, my friend said, and the stranger interrupted him with a squeezy voice that pumped cold sweat onto my friends forehead, I'VE HEARD YOU ARE A COOL CODER AND YOU ALSO SWAP. THATS SO... COOL ! DO YOU BELONG TO ANY TEEAM I KNOW, my friend asked. WELL, NOT REALLY, BUT THATS BECAUSE I JUST BOUGHT MY C64 BUT I'VE SENT AN APPLICATION FOR MEMBER- SHIP TO ATLEAST 20 GROUPS, I SHOULD BE GETTING AN ANSWER IN JUST A COUPLE OF DAYS. SURE, SURE, my friend said, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME ANYWAYS ?! I'D LIKE TO COPY SOME NEW STUFF, IF YOU PLEASE, the visitor said and waved his bag filled with like 12O+ disks with a satanic glare in his eyes. Maybe the flattering the stranger used had some effect because my friend let the lamer in and allowed to copy the latest stuff. After a couple of hours the visitor left with dozens of filled disks and a happy smile upon his lips. THANS, THIS IS REALLY GREAT STUFF, THANKS YOU, the stranger numbled while leaving. WELL, MADE ANOTHER NEW C64 OWNER HAPPY, my friend thought and flet more or less satisfied helping a beginner. Next afternoon yesterdays visitor was again infront of the door with a bag full of disks. Buth this time he had brought a friend with him; a second lamer who stood on the doorstep; with a box full of disks. The first looked more confident and sure of himself than he had been on thuesday. He told my friend that he had build a new group with the other guy. The groups name was 'ULTRA PAMPERS' and they would concentrate on swapping in the beginning but as the second lamer said 'A MEGA-DEMO FROM US WILL SOON BE RELEASED! BY THE WAY, DO I CODE A SCROLLER ?', my friend had this strange, scary feeling again. My friend thought that every beginner should be helped and let the visitors in, after a few hours of copying disks the lamers left and he felt that he had done the right thing. On saturday my friend was lying on his bed with a little hangover to get rid off while he heard his doorbell ringing. 'WHO THE HELL DISTURBS DECENT PEOPLE ON SATURDAY MORNINGS' he thought and discovered four members of Ultra Pampers behind the door. Both of the fridays visitors had recruited a new member and now they'd also like to copy 'a couple of disks' as they said, all waving their grey bags full of disks. 'HEY GUYS, WHY DON'T YOU COME BACK TOMMORROW, I DON'T FEEL VERY GOOD RIGHT NOW' my friend said.. But then he saw the lamers faces go sad and decided to let the bastards in. The 'Pampers' spent their time with shouting and copying and breaking the funiture so that my friend was very glad to get rid of them. Then on sunday .. Eight creeps invaded his house and my friend had trouble finding a polit way to kick the bastards out. On monday he regreted his politeness as 16 'cool guys' stood on the parch. 'YO MAN, IT'S A COPY PARTY!'. They had brought brought with them computers, drives and modems. With the modem they recruited new people on the 'party' so that on the second day Ultra Pampers had 32 members. After the copy party my friend had three very nice days, but even then he felt that he'd hear from them again and a cold feeling crept into his spines. On saturday he woke up with a terrible noise. He looked through his wondow to a near by football field where masses of people gathered together - 512 ULTRA PAMPERS MEMBERS. My friend escaped from his house. As he ran away he saw the 512 lamers walking towards his door, all waving grey bags full of disks. Later events could be rad in the newspaper as more and more lamers invaded his hometown. Next friday 32456 LAMERS arrived, filling all motels, hotels and camping areas, and no end for this could be seen. After four days 546987 VISITORS were ruining the economy of the whole country, leaving behind ruins and burned land. Well, as this isn't a horror magazine I'll skip this story with 5293812 LAMERS. In the end my friend sat in his cold and dark hotelroom, wondering how things would be if he just shot the first lamer in the very beginning... . ..... And the moral of this story: SHOOT LAMERS IMMEDIATELY SHOOT LAMERS, IMMEDIATELY... Go on reading Homes.. A T C ADDITIONAL THREATS & COMMENTS.. Yawn, coming closer to the end for this months compilation of hilarious lyrics and facts. You feel offended and pissed ?! GOOD !! Thats the true meaning of it. You can still leave mail bombs and constructive critism on either DOWN BY LAW (XXXXXXXXXXXX) or THE DUNGEON, the Propaganda Hq with the official online voter incase you feel to change sthg in the charts with YOUR votes (XXXXXXXXXXXX). These textlines are a brand of 'Creative Strategy' (TM) (c) 1993 by MAJESTY of ever so popular TALENT. PROPAGANDA is copyright by GENESIS*PROJECT 91-93. Thank you, Merci & Dankeschoen for either giving me inspiration or helping me in some other way (note, my bank account number has changed, you may send donations in the mail from today on) to MAREN (for having patience, the stress to finish this text in time MAY have reduced my potence, but now that it's out we are back to normal eh, haha), DUKE (to be honest, I dunno what for, just enjoy this Issue, I am sure you will, hahahehehohaheoha..), whole LEGEND (to send those CAMEL test packs was a nice move, cough..), whole ILLUSION (you have been nice interview partners, (QUOTE DERBY RAM) 'Really, slurch, pffft, %&!$, where are my thooths ?!'), LUCKY STRIKE (for pushing me to a possible inflambation of the lungs with any cigarette..), RADAR/LAGERFELD (for constant weak rags, you're the classic example for growing raggers how NOT to do it..), WESTMINSTER ICE TEA (obviously you guys put too less sugar in your stuff, good work though. (now figure what it has in commom with this magazine ?!), THE DUNGEON/PROPAGANDA HQ (for being down ANY time I try to upload my stuff for the magazine) and YOU. Keep your eyes open for the Propaganda Staff at the party in Denmark dudes. Later, Marco & Maren 1O/93