The Link 09 Humour

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 HUMOR and a BLOODY good laugh
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 mary had a little watch
 she swallowed it one day
 and now she's taking laxitives
 to pass the time away
 the laxitive,it wouldn't work
 the time,it wouldn't pass
 so if you want to know what time it is
 just look up mary's ar----- father
 he's got a watch,too!!!

 sent in by SATAN/TAT/GENETIX VISION
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 here's one i think we have all been
 guility of!!!!!

 DEAR WHITE FELLOW

 when i was born i was black

 when i grew up i was black

 when i get sick i am black

 when i get scared i am black

 when i choke i am black

 when i get embarrassed i am black

 BUT YOU WHITE FELLOWS

 when you were born you were PINK

 when you grow up you are WHITE

 when you get sick you are GREEN

 when you get scared you are YELLOW

 when you choke you are BLUE

 when you get embarrassed you are RED

 and when you die you are PURPLE

 and you got the hide

 to call me COLoUReD !!!!!
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 what have niki lauda and hotlips (mash)
 houlihan got in common?

 they've both been FUCKED by major burns
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 what's the best thing about a blow job
 from an ETHIOPIAN woman?

 you'll know she'll swallow.
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 who killed more INDIANS than JOHN WAYNE

 UNION CARBIDE
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 what's black and brown and looks good
 on a NEGRO?

 a dobermann
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 what do you call a dog with wings?

 LINDA MCCARNEY.
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 what have rock hudson and muhammad ali
 got in common?

 they're both been bashed around the
 RING.
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 why do dogs lick their dicks?

 because they can!!
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 why was alcohol invented?

 so FAT,SMELLY women could get laid.
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 what's the difference between a dog and
 a fox?

 a few lines of COKE and about 10 drinks
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 what's the hardest thing about a sex
 change operation?

 sewing in the ANCHOVIES!
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 what's better than having sex with a 16
 year old girl?

 FUCKING NOTHING!
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 how do you get a NUN pregnant?

 FUCK HER stupid.
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 what kind of PISSER are you?

 EXCITABLE TYPE:
 pants twisted,can't find the hole,rips
 pants in temper.

 SOCIABLE TYPE:
 joins friends in a piss whether he want
 to or not.

 TIMID TYPE:
 cannot piss in front of others,so he
 pretends to have finished and sneaks
 back later.

 NOISY TYPE:
 whistles loudly,peeks over partition &
 looks at the other blokes weapon to see
 if his is bigger.

 CLEVER TYPE:
 pisses without holding his tool,shows
 of by adjusting his tie at the same
 time.

 FRIVOLOUS TYPE:
 plays stream up and down the wall,or
 tries to piss on the flies.  this type
 never grow up.

 ABSENT MINDED TYPE:
 opens vest,takes out tie,pisses in
 pants.

 WORRIED TYPE:
 not sure what he has been up to lately,
 makes a furtive inspection of tool
 while pissing.

 DISGRUNTLED TYPE:
 stands for awhilre,grunts,farts,tries
 to piss,farts and walks away.

 PERSONALITY TYPE:
 tells jokes while pissing,shakes his
 tools with a flourish.

 SNEAKY TYPE:
 drops silent farts while pissing,sniffs
 looks at the bloke next to him.

 SLOPPY TYPE:
 pisses down his trousers,into his shoes
 walks out with his fly undone,adjusts
 his balls 10 minutes later.

 VAIN TYPE:
 undoes 5 buttons for his piss when 2
 would be ample.

 STRONG TYPE:
 bangs his tool on the urinal to shake
 off the drops.

 INDIFFERENT TYPE:
 all urinals are occuupied,he pisses in
 the sink.

 LAZY TYPE:
 pisses through his pocket instead of
 undoing his fly.

 CAREFREE TYPE:
 pisses everywhere,except in the urinal.

 NERVOUS TYPE:
 balls rattle due to trembling tool.

 o.k. boys be honest with me,which one
 of these really does describe you,send
 in your answers to me and i will print
 them in next months issue and send over
 a copy to your MUM.
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 why do PAKISTANIS carry shit in their
 wallets?

 for identification.
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 due to the outbreak of AIDS,employees
 will no longer be permitted to KISS the
 boss's ARSE.
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 this is a story of how the beloved hole
 between a womens legs came to being.  i
 make no apology if i offend anyone with
 this as i am only typing in what i am
 reading,so here we go:


 seven wise men made up their minds.
 to build them a pussy of their own
 design.

 the FIRST was a carpenter,full of wit.
 with a hammer & chisel he made the slit


 the SECOND a blacksmith as black as
 coal.
 with anvil and sledge he made the hole.


 the THIRD a tailor,long and slim.
 with a piece of red ribbon,lined it
 within.

 the FOURTH a furrier big and stout.
 with the skin of a bear he lined it
 without.

 the FIFTH a fisherman old and bent.
 with a rotten herring he gave it the
 scent.

 the SIXTH a preacher with a B.A. degree
 he patted it and felt it and said it
 would pee.

 the SEVENTH a rabbi a mean little runt.
 he fucked it and blessed it and called
 it a CUNT.







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         # HIT THE FIRE BUTTON#
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