The Link 08 Humour

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 #jokes#
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   how many programmers does it take to
change a light bulb?
   none it's a hardware fault.
                   from RASTAN/FURY
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   if it wasn't for pick pockets INCUBUS
TSR wouldn't have a sex life.
                   from THE ROGUE
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   little johnny was at the circus with
his mother,saw an elephant with a large
erection. "mommy,mommy,what is that? he
cried,pointing to the elephant.  "you
mean his TRUNK?" inquired his mother.
"no no that other thing,that big thick
thing-there!" "oh that's nothing," said
the flustered woman,"i don't even want
to talk about it."
   the next weekend,johnny's father took
him to the circus and johnny pointed out
the same phenomenon. the father explains
that what he was looking at was the
elephant's PENIS.  still the little was
unsatisfied.  "but when i asked mommy,
she said it was nothing.  why did she
say it was nothing?"  his father grinned
"oh your mother has just been spoiled,
thats all."
                   from TDA/PARALAX
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   this one is NEVER TRUST AN INDIAN
   barbara walters was doing a document-
ary on the customs of the AMERICAN
INDIANS.after an hour on the reservation
she asked why the difference in the
number of FEATHERS in the headdress.
asking a brave who had only 1 feather in
his headdress,his reply was 'me have
only one squaw,me only have 1 feather'.
   feeling he might be joking she asked
another brave who incidentally had 4
feathers in his headdress.  he replied
'ugh,me have 4 feathers because me sleep
with four squaws'.  still not convinced
that the number of feathers indicated
the number of squaws involved she asked
the CHIEF.
   now the CHIEF had a headdress full of
feathers which needless to say amused
mrs walters.  she then asked the CHIEF
'why do you have all those feathers in
your headdress?'  the CHIEF proudly
pounded his chest and said,'me CHIEF,
me FUCKEM all,big,small,fat,tall,ME
FUCKEM ALL.'  horrified,mrs walters said
'you ought to be hung'.  to which the
CHIEF replied,'you dam right me hung,big
like buffalo,long like snake'.  hearing
this mrs walters cried,'you don't have
to be so hostile',the CHIEF replied
'hoss-style,dog-style,wolf-style,me FUCK
EM ALL'. tears in her eyes mrs walters
cried 'oh dear',the CHIEF replied,NO
DEER,FUCK NO DEER,ASSHOLE TOO HIGH AND
FUCKERS RUN TOO FAST-NO FUCK DEER.
                   from UPTONOGOOD
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   question:
   why is a woman like a map of the
world?

   answer:
   BETWEEN the ages of 13-25 she's like
asia-half virgin and half explored!
   BETWEEN the ages of 25-35 she's like
africa-hot and mysterious!
   BETWEEN the ages of 35-45 she's like
america-cool,calculating and commercial!
   BETWEEN the ages of 45-65 she's like
europe-devastated-but still some inter-
esting spots!
   AFTER the age of 65 like iceland-
everyone knows where it is,but who the
FUCK wants to go there!
                   from UPTONOGOOD
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   this is the story of JACK and JOE

   jack and joe were twins,who were so
much alike that only their closest
friends could tell them apart.
   jack was married and joe was the
proud owner of an old dilapidated boat.
   things turned out,that on the same
day that jacks wife died,joes boat sank.
a dear old lady met joe in the street 1
day,mistaking him for jack,said i am
terribly sorry to hear of your mis-
fortune,you must be very upset about it.
   this was to much for joe who broke
down and replied.  she was a rotten old
thing from the start.  her bottom was
all scored up and she smelled like dead
fish.  the first time i got into her she
made water faster than anything i had
ever seen before and she had a terrible
crack in her bottom as well as a fairly
big hole in the front.  every time i
used her the hole just kept on getting
bigger but after a while i could handle
the problem.  if anyone else used her
she used to leak like hell and this is
what really finished her.  four men from
the other side of the river asked if i
could send her over,which i did.  i
warned them what she was like and they
did not mind,but being in such a hurry
to start,they all got into her at once,
which was too much for her to take.
   she cracked up in the middle and her
bottom fell out.
   the old lady fainted.
                   from UPTONOGOOD








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    #press fire to return to menu#
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