The Link 07 Humour
From C64 Diskmag Wiki
;""""""""; # HUMOUR # ;""""""""; the best medicine """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" a pretty cool dude was chatting to his girlfriend when he thought of a joke he had heard that day. '' i've got a joke that will make your tits fall off'' he said. the bloke then looked at his girlfriends chest and said, ''shit your obvouusly heard it!!! SCOOBY/TSR """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" why did the condom go flying across the room ? it got pissed off!! what 2 things do you never lend your mate ? your lawn mover and your girlfriend, they both always come back fucked !! THE BRIGHT LIGHT/GEM """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ROGUES REVENGE """""""""""""" whats long green, slimy and smells of pork. KERMIT'S FINGER for a while everyone thought INCUBUS/TSR has d a son call HUMPHRY, because every night around tea time he would stand out in the street and call HUMP FREE!! HUMP FREE!! whats the different between a truck load of babies and a truck load of sand. you can't get sand out with a pitch fork INCUBUS/TSR is like a TV... a 3 year old can turn him on! whats big, ugly, smells, has a runny nose and is terminally retarded ? INCUBUS/TSR !!!!! FROM THE ROGUE """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" what do you call a KIWI with a SHEEP under one arm and a GOAT under the other ? A BISEXUAL RUSTLER/TSR """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" why are pubic hairs curly. so they dont poke your eyes out !! there was a young man from nucket whose disk was so long he could suck it he said with a grin as he was wipping his chin if my ear was acunt i could fuck it! OMEN/TSR """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" why does ALPHA/TSR write left handed ? because his right hand is always going up and down his dick !! what goes up a staircase backwards ? a CORGI with an ERECTION !!! OMEN/TSR """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" LETTER FROM AN IRISH MOTHER dear son, just a few lines to let you know i an still alive. iam am writing this letter slowly because i know you can't read fast. you won't know the house when you get home because we have moved. about you father, he has a lovely new job, has 500 men under him. he cuts grass in the cementry. there was a washing machine at the new house when we moved in, but it hasn't been working too well. last week i put 14 shirts in and pulled the chain, and haven' seen them since. your sister mary had a baby this morning, but i haven't found out if its a boy or a girl so i don't know if your an aunty or an uncle. your uncle dick drowned last week in a vat of whiskey at the dublin brewery. some of the workers tried to save him, but he fought them off bravely. they cremated the body and it took three days to put out the flames. i went o the doctors on thursday and you father went with me. the doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for ten minutes. your father offered to but it from him. it only rained twice this week, first for three days and then for four. monday was so windy, one of the chickens laid the same egg four times. we had a letter from the undertaker he said if the last payment of your grandmothers plot was'nt paid in seven days, up she comes. your loving mother p.s. i was going to send you ten dollars but i sealed the envelope. """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" mr keating, the australian prime minister went to kings cross and met three 'pay as you lay' girls. he said, i am keating, how much do you require to have intercourse? the blond said $115, and the brunette said $120, but the red head said. 'if you can raise my skirt as high as the taxes, take down my pants as low as the wages, make your old fellow as hard as it takes to make a living, and fuck me like you fucked the country, then it won't cost you a bloody cent'!!! """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" 25 GOOD REASONS why BEER is better than WOMEN. 1. you can enjoy a beer all month long. 2. beer stains wash out. 3. your beer will always wait patently for you in the car while you play football. 4. you don't have to wine and dine beer. 5. when you beer goes flat you toss it. 6. beer is never late. 7. beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer. 8. hangovers go away. 9. beer lables come off without a fight. 10.when you go to a pub, you can always pick up a beer. 11.beer never has a headache. 12.after you have had a beer the bottle is still usefull. 13.a beer won't get upset if you come home with another beer. 14.if you pour a beer, it will always give you good head. 15.a beer always goes down easy. 16.you can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty. 17.you can share a beer with your mates. 18.you always know if your the first one to pop a beer. 19.beer is always wet. 20.beer doesn't demand equality. 21.you can have a beer in public. 22.a beer doesnt care when you come. 23.a frigid beer is a good one. 24.you don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good. 25.if you change beers you don't have to pay alimony. """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ;""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""; # fire button to return to main menu # ;"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""";