ArachnoPhobia 02 Jokes

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          THE JOKING-CHAPTER
          THE JOKING-CHAPTER

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Here's Carnage again, this time with
some JOKES.
This chapter is new, so give us your
reactions about this chapter.
OK enough of this crap, I shall give
you the jokes.

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"He fellow, what's your name?"

"Pe.. Pe.. Pe.. Peter"

"Is it ok if I just call you peter?"

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"But that isn't our child!!!"

"Don't twaddle, it's a better
 perambulator anyway!!!"

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THERE HANGS A BIG FOG ABOVE LONDON.

Sombody askes: "Do you know where I can
                find the Thames?"

Someone else: "Yes of course, it's about
               3 steps back"

               "Are you sure?"

              "of course I'm sure, I
               just came out of it!!!"

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A drunkard stands infront of a
cuckooclock, than suddenly the cuckoo
says "cuckoo", 4 times.

The drunkard says: "I know that it's one
o'clock, you don't have to tell me that
4 times!".

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When you want to cut your left hand, you
have to do that with your right hand,
but when you want to cut the other hand,
you will have to ask somebody else!!!

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A drunken car driver has been stopped by
the police.

"What's your name?",the policeman askes.

"fekgbgkvilgho" is the answer.

"Can you spell that?"

"T. H. A. T."

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"Couldn't you get me another girl to
 take to the party, because sn 's fat,
 cross-eyed, knock-kneed, has hips like
 treestumps and misses to of her front
 teeth!!!"

"You don't have to whisper like that,
 sn 's deaf too".

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How does a Scott eat his tomato soup?

He takes a red plate and puts warm water
in it!!!

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Sam: "How can you play such a cheerfull
tune on your piano, when your wife just
died?"

Andrew: "I only play on the black keys".

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"I know 2 people in my family, who have
gone mad"

"Tell me, who's the other one?"

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Do you know what the different is
between a workscouncil and a terrorist?

You can't negotiate with a workscouncil,
but you can negotiate with a terrorist!!

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A woman has been at the docter's and her
husband askes: "What did he say ?"

"Fifty dollars"

"No, I mean, what did you have?"

"Fourthy dollars"

"No, I want to know what you problem
 was"

"Ten dollars"

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"Why are you allways talking to
 yourself?"

"Because I know that I will get an
 intelligent answer!"

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"How was your steak?", a waiter askes
 when a man finished his steak.

"Not so good, I thought he was rather
 small for his age."

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"Hé, didn't you hear us banging on the
 wall this morning?"

"Oh, that wasn't so bad. I was playing
 the trumpet anyway!!"

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Little girl: "I wish that I had a little
              brother or sister to drive
              with in my perambulator"

Mother: "Why?"

Little girl: "Because my dolls allways
              break when they fall out
              of it!!!"

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"Do you know why an elephant wears red
 socks?"

"No."

"Because his green socks are wet."

"And do you know why an elephant swims
 on his back?"

"No idea."

"Because his red socks would get wet
 otherwise."

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"You can establish the age of a chicken
 by the teeth."

"A chicken doesn't have any teeth."

"No, but I do!!!"

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"And, waiter, what can you recommend us
 today?"

"Strong teeth!!!"

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"Mother, mother, I found grandpa!!!"

"Stuart!!!, I told you not to dig in the
 garden!!!"

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What's yellow and dangerous?

I don't know.

Shark in a fested custard!!!

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Gangster's final words: Who put this
violin in my violin case?

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Doctors... oh, doctors...They have so
many enemies in this world... But a lot
more in the next.

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Will television ever replace newspapers?

Probably no, it won't. Have you ever
tried to kill flies with a television?

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Waiter, waiter, what's this fly doing
on my icecream? Learning to ski?

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Why do the elephants paints their
toenails red?

I don't know.

So they can hide in cherry trees!

That's stupid!!!

Have you ever seen an elphant in a
cherry tree?

No.

See! It works!!!

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Waiter, waiter, there's a fly on my
salad!

Don't worry, there's a spider on your
steak.


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Ok, that where all the jokes for now and
that also concludes this chapter.
And remember give us your reactions, not
only from this chapter, but also from
the other chapters and of course of the
mag it self, as it's also a bit changed.

   This is Carnage signing off for now++

   Music by K. Rostoen