Condom 06
From C64 Diskmag Wiki
(Difference between revisions)
Revision as of 04:37, 20 January 2008
Contents |
Editorial
HELLO READERS
this is the 6th edition of our maga-
zine!
first the usual information...
staff
ROUGH/CHROMANCE ebm,hardcore,thrash,ska
JAKE/PULSAR punk,hardcore,death
IMBECIL/- hardcore,punk,thrash
also thanks to our free workers...
sodom/akrak,warlock/xentrix and all the
others,whose name i maybe forgot!
this issue is the one for MAY and the
next is released in JUNE of course!
so watch out,ANARCHISTS
here's the contact address...
CONDOM
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
we got a lot of positive reaction but
only short ones like i love your mag,
it's brill and so on from people like
mr.wax/chromance and merlin/omega
we also got some kind of a negative re
action! the "very cool" magazine eman-
uelle turned down the magazine and sla
gged on the whole thing with things li
ke 'this is lame' and 'that is lame'!
well,this maybe is their real opinion
their very own right to think so,but if
they only aim of this test was to mess
with us around and attack us (esp.me!)
then listen...
kids,if you want have problems,then say
it! GOT THAT,"AUSTRIA'S #1"!!!???
hahaha! even t'pau or silicon are kinx
against your bunch...!
well,it's not my intention to fight
with everyone who doesnt like things
we do,but if they want so...
THE PERSONAL KISSES AND WISHES TO:
jake,imbecil,SKANARCHIST(who's that?)
vampire,zwerg(hargh,old troublemaker!)
tom,mr.wax,dense,herman,dr.disc,ivory,
slime,alf,sodom,creep,nothingface,
biene,hausalarm,sabine,nina,karina,
united krach,donald,ursi,vroni,jimjams,
all old ajz lovers (let it be alive)
mmc,andy,steamhammer(gotta meet ya!),
birgit,rico and all the other posse!
SEE YA,NEXT MONTH,over to some words
by JAKE!
...one day is fine, and next is black!
so if you want me off your back.
so you got to let me know.....
SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO!
this is jake's part of the EDITORIAL
okay, i don't know, what to write, but
i will try to find sumthing.
i guess, this time we have a really
powerful issue and if imbecil would
correct the bugs in loader, the mag
would be better anyway, hahaha!
by the way, did ya know, that roughy-boy
works in his freetime in a real bavarian
'beergarden'. i think, that's cool!
maybe i visit ya sumtime!
well, to end my page, i will write my
personal thanx & greets, which go to:
my family, michi, jo, gordon, markus,
FELIX (c.u. all in 'new force!), mueller
(with his fucking pc!), corinna (thanx
for listening to me!), mike (bk sucks!)
the greets continue....
all partylions from 'rock up', all dudes
from 'new force', and all punks from
'komm' in nuremberg, even if i don't
know anyone of ya personally!
fuckinx to all ignorants, muthafuckers,
new dicks on the block, nazis & skins,
suit & tie guys, post-men (hi scatter!),
and all german-democracy-lovers.
sum explainings to my last fucking....
i always thought, that DEMOCRACY is, dat
everybody can choose over the hands of
a party, what he wants. but who the fuck
wanted, (except the dumb politicians!)
that the taxes will be raised? or that
the phone gets more expensive soon?
and everything because that fucking GDR!
i never wanted the unity, but i MUST
pay for it! i don't wanted the war in
the gulf, but i have to pay for it!
the politicians are assfucking liers
and i hate them. everybody is corrupt!
i mean, if they wanna have the unity,
then the politicians shall pay it from
their own money, coz i guess, they
earn more than enough!
deutschland ist jetzt eins - OH NEIN!
das schlimmste, was europa juengst er-
fahren hat....
deutschland so wie einst - OH NEIN!
das schlimmste, was die welt je ertragen
hat....
was 'deutsch' ist, brauch ich nicht,
ich will die einheit nicht! deutsche
stolze mag ich nicht, das deutsch-sein
wird zur pflicht!
helmut, der kohl, schickt deutsche in
den krieg, kaiser franz will den deutsch
en sieg, deutscher ruhm, deutsche pop-
ularitaet, hat in deutschland fuer so
manchen hoechste prioritaet!
ich bin dafuer, dass die mauer wieder
hochgezogen wird, was aber nicht heisst,
dass ich fuer onkel honni bin. man kann
ja ein eigenstaendiger staat bleiben,
und so zu uns sein, wie holland oder
was weiss ich. dass man ohne visum
reisen kann, aber die EINHEIT ist das
allerletzte. IHR VERDAMMTEN ARSCHLOECHEr
and der macht, habt ihr nichts aus der
vergangenheit gelernt? wenn ein gewisser
teil polens auch noch zu uns kommt
(was kohl am liebsten haette!!), dann
erinnert mich das irgendwie an 1938!
NIE WIEDER GROSSDEUTSCHLAND!
jake....
p.s. maybe my editor-pals may write thei
opinion to this theme here, too!
i would to say some things about music
generally! you could wonder why i,
ROUGH,to so many different music styles
well,it's a simple reason i think from
every music style there are good + bad
examples,from the one more and from the
other less...
for example i really love to hear this:
thrash metal(suicidal tendencies,mega-
deht,nuclear assault)
crossover (faith no more,prong)
death metal (napalm death,slayer)
hardcore (bad religion,nofx,tankard)
hip hop (de la soul,3rd bass,a tribe..)
rap (public enemy,2 life crew,run dmc)
ebm (alien sex fiend,front 242,skinny
puppy)
techno (renegade soundwave,the shamen)
house (bomb the bass,c+c music factory)
punk (slime,dead kennedys,spermbirds)
fun punk (brieftauben,zitronen,lustf.)
psychobilly (klingonz,meteors,swampies)
ska (blue killaz,skaos)
skatecore (red hot chili p,gang green)
satanwave (dead can dance,das ich)
good pop (chris isaac,del amitri)
well,you see a lot of different musics
and if you ask how this is possible...
i can only tell you
MUSIC IS MY LIFE
£
and last the credits...
INTRO...
--------
code imbecil -
logo jake pulsar
char ? omega
music griff chromance
MAIN...
-------
code imbecil -
logo gnu -
char ? cosmos
l.char ? ?
music danko x-censor
loader ultraload
Tourdates
YO BROTHAZ! the tour dates... VANILLA ICE 03.07 muenchen 04.07 duesseldorf 05.07 berlin 06.07 hamburg 07.07 frankfurt GUNS'N ROSES 24.08 mannheim (45dm+vvk) FISHER Z 15.05 koeln FATS DOMINO 10.05 kiel 13.05 nuernberg 14.05 kassel RAVI SHANKAR 14.05 muenchen 15.05 berlin INXS 02.07 berlin 09.07 muenchen VAYA CON DIOS 08.06 konstanz 09.06 koeln 28.06 berlin 30.06 hamburg CHICK COREA 05.07 hamburg 06.07 aachen COMMODORES 09.05 trier 12.05 bremerhaven 13.05 muenster 14.05 hannover PAUL SIMON 15.06 st goarshau.20.06 muenchen 27.06 berlin 29.06 hamburg 03.07 stuttgart 04.07 dortmund HERBERT GROENEMAYER+BAND+wolf maahn 14.05 hannover 16.05 rostock 18.05 berlin 19.05 leipzig 20.05 dresden 22.05 aue 24.05 (a)wien 25.05 mannheim STING 13.05 muenchen 14.05 muenchen 15.05 stuttgart 17.05 frankfurt 29.06 freiburg 03.07 berlin 14.07 bremen 17.07 neu-ulm THE ALARM 10.06 bremen 11.06 berlin 13.06 hannover 14.06 bielefeld 16.06 bochum 17.06 stuttgart 18.06 muenchen SISTERS OF MERCY 09.05 hannover 10.05 berlin 12.05 hamburg 13.05 muenster 14.05 essen JOE JACKSON+HUE AND CRY 18.05 muenster 19.05 frankfurt 31.05 hamburg 15.06 duesseldorf 16.06 stuttgart 17.06 MANU DIBANGO+SOUL MAKOSSA GANG 10.05 erlangen 11.05 bad reichenh. 12.05 muenchen 13.05 frankfurt 14.05 dortmund 15.05 koeln 17.05 hannover 18.05 hamburg 19.05 berlin 20.05 bremen HEINZ RUDOLF KUNZE 09.05 hamburg 10.05 hamburg 11.05 kiel 12.05 hameln 14.05 duesseldorf 15.05 oberhausen 16.05 muenster 17.05 hagen 18.05 hannover BIZARRE 91 FESTIVAL on 29/30 june in giessen...pixies,danzig,new model army iggy pop,the alarm,bad religion and mor INSPIRAL CARPETS 09.05 hamburg 12.05 koeln 14.05 frankfurt 15.05 berlin 16.05 muenchen 808 STATE 18.05 koeln 23.05 dortmund 25.05 berlin 26.05 frankfurt 27.05 stuttgart 28.05 muenchen POEMS FOR LEILA 21.05 dresden 23.05 (a)st.poelten 24.05 (a)klagenf. 25.05 (a)innsbruck 26.05 muenchen 27.05 ulm 28.05 stuttgart 29.05 freiburg 30.05 (ch)bern 01.06 meschede 02.06 eschwege 03.06 frankfurt 04.06 trier 05.06 nuernberg 07.06 (f)paris 08.06 (f)caen 10.06 oberhausen 11.06 bielefeld 12.06 hannover 13.06 hamburg 14.06 bremen 15.06 bingen 17.06 koeln EMF 29.05 muenchen 30.05 frankfurt 02.06 koeln 04.06 berlin 05.06 hamburg 12.06 bielefeld LIVING COLOUR 19.06 ludwigsburg 20.06 muenchen 21.06 nuernberg 26.06 bremen PIXIES 01.07 muenchen KING KONG 11.05 freiburg 12.05 kaiserlautern 14.05 nuernberg 15.05 stuttgart 16.06 wuerzburg 19.05 berlin 22.05 braunschweig 23.05 hannover 24.05 bad segeberg 25.05 flensburg 27.05 hamburg 28.05 bremen 29.05 osnabrueck 30.05 goettingen DREAM WARRIORS+GANG STARR 09.05 stuttgart 10.05 duesseldorf 11.05 berlin 12.05 hamburg LENNY KRAVITZ 17.05 hamburg 18.05 berlin 21.05 frankfurt 22.05 muenchen 26.05 bonn FRONT 242 26.05 ludwigsburg 27.05 muenchen HAPPY MONDAYS,DEEE-LITE,SOUP DRAGONS 22.06 hamburg 24.06 berlin 25.06 koeln 26.06 muenchen ABWAERTS 21.05 aurich 22.05 muenster 23.05 schwerte 24.05 bremen 25.05 hohenlockst.28.05 berlin 29.05 frankfurt 30.05 waldkirch 31.05 (ch)luzern 01.06 (ch)schaffhaus. 03.06 aachen 05.06 heidelberg 06.06 feldwies 07.06 esterhofen 08.06 biberach 09.06 sindelfingen 14.06 fulda 15.06 (ch)zuerich 16.06 nuernberg 17.06 kassel 19.06 detmold 20.06 hannover 22.06 hamburg 23.06 neuss 24.06 muenchen 30.06 berlin 05.07 dortmund THE FALL 14.05 hamburg 22.05 muenchen 23.05 frankfurt 24.05 muenster 26.05 bielefeld 27.05 stuttgart 28.05 koeln 30.05 bremen 02.06 berlin MORDRED 12.05 frankfurt 13.05 muenchen 14.05 stuttgart 15.05 koeln 16.05 berlin 17.05 hamburg £18.05 bremen 19.05 essen PRIMUS 01.06 hamburg 02.06 berlin 03.06 bochum 05.06 koeln 06.06 herford 08.06 muenchen 09.06 frankfurt 10.06 stuttgart BAD BRAINS 24.06 erlangen 25.06 frankfurt 26.06 stuttgart 28.06 bielefeld JINGO DE LUNCH 15.05 (ch)olten 16.05 (ch)bern 17.05 (a)dorn 18.05 passau LENINGRAD COWBOYS 24.05 obernburg 25.05 ulm 26.06 wuerzburg 27.05 nuernberg 31.05 muenchen 01.06 freiburg 02.06 ludwigsburg03.06 mannheim 04.06 oberhausen 05.06 herford 06.06 berlin 07.06 luebeck 08.06 marburg 09.06 karlsruhe 10.06 frankfurt DR.ALBAN 17.05 schuttorf 18.05 bielefeld 19.05 hamburg 20.05 kempen 21.05 wuerzburg 22.05 post-bauernheng
Charts
this are jake's personal lp-charts...
1. TOY DOLLS - fat bobs feet
2. WALTER ELF - die angst der tormanns..
3. S.O.D. - speak english or die!
4. d.r.i. - 4 of a kind!
5. jingo de lunch - underdog
6. emils - wer frisst wen?
7. suicidal tendencies - light, camera..
8. dead kennedys - frankenchri$t
9. spermbirds - thanx...live!
10.3rd bass - the cactus revisited
the single song charts follow...
1. TOY DOLLS - back in '79
2. WALTER ELF - ramstein fluchtag
3. S.O.D. - kill yourself
4. d.r.i. - dead in a ditch
5. jingo de lunch - new key
6. emils - geld rueckt koepfe gerade
7. suicidal tendencies - u can't bring..
8. dead kennedys - chicken farm
9. spermbirds - you're not a punk!
stagedive dudes!
this is the ultimate jake with THREE
really kicking concert-reports....
here ya will find the storys from gigs
like:MOTOERHEAD + CYCLE SLUTS FROM HELL,
MEGADETH + ALMIGHTY + ALICE IN CHAINS,
and EMILS + SUCKSPEED + CAPITOL PUNISH-
MENT.
MOTOERHEAD + CYCLE SLUTS FROM HELL
1st, march 1991, neumarkt/jurahalle
scatter and me drove together with frog
in his car to neumarkt, which lies about
70 kilometres away from erlangen. we
found immediately the jurahalle, where
a lot of bangers & cyclers waited for
entrance. finally the opened the door
at about 19.45 and we squeezed ourself
through the whole shit-crowd. at about
20.10 the C.S.F.H. entered the stage
and what a surprise. four, really
slut looking like, girls came to kick
ass, but the lame audience (only stupid
manta-metallers and farmers with armless
jeansjackets (besser als kutte bekannt!)
) ignored them and some screamed every
time 'ausziehen'. okay, okay! i would
have not looked away, if they had dressd
off, but i think it's stupid to shout
sumthing to a cool woman band. anyway,
i loved them & their music and will buy
the record soon, if i find it in a
store. by the road, one of the guitar-
players was the ex-OVERKILL bobby gus-
tafson. i guess, the most farmers did
not recognized him as him, but the exact
eye of jake recognizes everything!
(schleim!!!) after a break of about a
quarter of an hour, MOTOERHEAD entered
and began their set with DR.ROCK. no-
body could hold me on my place. i starte
slamming like a distorted asshole and
beat the living shit out of sum other
slammers (not really, sucker!!)
after the cool opener, MOTOERHEAD began
to bore around. yes really, they only
played tracks of their new album, which
i don't like at all, and classics like
'bomber' or 'roadcrew' they left at
home. and the worst thing was, that they
finished playing after ONE hour. and
guess what the entrance costed us.....
35,- german marks. that really sucks!
be sure to meet me never again on a
MOTOERHEAD gig, if they will not improve
their style. good beginning - bad end!
MEGADETH + ALMIGHTY + ALICE IN CHAINS
12th, march 1991, fuerth, stadthalle
in the last issue we already had a repor
of this tour, but this was from MUNICH
and this here is from FUERTH. so i only
will tell ya a short version of the
whole thing.
again we climbed in frogs car and drove
to fuerth, which lies about 15 km far
away from my hometown. as we entered,
A.I.C. were already playing their last
song and so i can't give a further im-
pressions of the group, as i don't know
them at all.
ALMIGHTY entered and only sum farmers
got rid of their adrenalin. personally
i must say, that they are not bad, but
i saved on this evening my power for
the main-act, and so i only watched this
gig with a mug of beer in my hand. not
bad!
then they came...MEGADETH. and they were
the only winners of this evening. they
played everything, from classics to the
new songs.....everything. and guess what
i did meanwhile???? yeah, slamming till
the shoes were smoking. by the way, sum
stupid civil-cops beat sum slammers up,
without any reason. WE DON'T CARE, WHAT
YA SAY...FUCK YA!. this was the only
gig, were i really slammed so much, that
i couldn't go right after the cocnert.
so i stumbled and creeped into the car
of frog, who says everytime the same
thing to me: 'jake, du bist verrueckt!'
i don't care, if ya are to lame to slam
then stay on yer feet in the last row.
scatter also only watched like a cow,
but who gives a fuck anyway. one of
the best concerts i were, and for 32,-
german marks ya got sumthing to believe
in.
and now the ultimate concert from....
EMILS + SUCKSPEED + CAPITOL PUNISHMENT
27th, march 1991, burgebrach, steigerw.
on this wednesday, everything went wrong
but let's start from the beginning.
in my firm, i got call from scatter, who
told me, that frog will not drive to
the concert, coz his car broke down.
NICE!!! i told frog, that i will go undr
every conditions, equal if frog will
drive, or not! we decided to go by train
to the concert-place. then we asked a
woman on the train-station, how we come
at the fastest way to burgebrach. whe
said, that we must go by train to bam-
berg and then with the train-bus to
burgeberach. okay, we bought our tickets
and went a little bit in the city, coz
we had a little bit time.
guess what happened? we missed the train
to bamberg and so we had to take the
next, in which we had to pay 3,- dm
more, coz we drove nonstop. SHIT!
the train reached bamberg 10 minutes
after the other one before, but these
10 minutes changed the situation. we
also missed also train-bus and the next
to burgebrach drove in one and a half
hour. again big SHIT! first we wanted
to walk, but we didn't know the way, so
we waited for the bus. he came, and
guy from the gdr sold us our tickets
for about 4,- dm. after a really 'gonna
make you sweat'-trip with this very old
bus, we reached the little farmer-villag
burgebrach and we found the hall.
it was now about 20.10 and the concert
had not started. at about 20.15 the let
us in and i can't believe my eyes. only
PUNKS (real punks...with iro etc..)
and other crazy dudes were in this hall!
first i climbed the merchandise-stand
but i forgot my money and so i couldn't
buy one of those cool'n'cheap shirts.
FUCK! at about 20.30 a local band
started playing. i don't know their
name, but it was not bad. nuffing to
say more about this band!
then CAPITOL PUNISHMENT enterd with thei
female basser and they made a great
show. the shouter was really cool, coz
he got crazy and always made faces.
the songs were very funny. i never heard
of this band before, but i will inform
myself and will buy a album of them.
after sum stagebuildings, SUCKSPEED
came and i must admit, that also they
were not bad. i didn't like them sum
time ago, but the new songs really kick
ass! by the road, the hall was not very
crowded (it was wednesday!!!) and so
there was not much kicking mood to made
a slam-pit. at this position, i wanna
greet the guy, who i called myself
'feuerwehr-wedel' and guess why???
he wore a fire-red leather-jacket (real
ugly colour!!) and his hairs were sum
kind of crazy. everything around his
head shaved and only on the top he had
hairs, which reached down to his shoulde
and guess, why i named him '...wedel?'
he had a really strange kind of banging
(stranger than me!!!!) he shaked his
head and stepped everytime a step back.
as i stood behind him, we always threw
his fucking 'wedel'-hair in my face!
as i kicked him in his ass, he looked
at me and continued in his strange
dance! arrgh! okay, at about 22.00 the
german hardcore-kings from hamburg
came on stage....EMILS. in the beginning
ille appeared and gave sum signings
from the band. i couldn't catch sum...
fuck! then they began to play and the
audience went crazy. in a few minutes
the hall was a sauna and i was quite
surprised, that the punks slammed so
hard. they really ran in high-speed
through the hall and rammed (really
ramming!) everything. so i decided just
to watch the show, coz i had to work
on the next day and so i didn't want to
consist only of blue stains at the
next day. EMILS made a great show and
ille was very cool. he wore only sum
jogging-trousers and a 24-7 shirt and
looked with his felt-hairs very funny.
the basser was one of the fastest i saw
in my life. anyway, the concert ended
up at 23.30 and this was very shitty.
the fucken cops declared, that there
it has to be quiet in the neighborhood
and so, EMILS finished wiwth a medley
of old rulin' slime-songs.
the concert was over, but my report
continues.
it was now 23.35 and we were in a farmer
village and then we realized the ugly
truth....at this time, there drove no
bus anymore to bamberg back! what now.
we both had to work at the next day,
and so we couldn't wait till morning!
so we simply walked to the next (???)
phone-cell, which lay about 2 kilometres
far away and we called my dad. he was
already sleeping but nevertheless he
jump in his clothes and drove about
70 kilometres to burgebrach to catch
us. he was kinda angry and said almost
nothing during the travel. finally i
will tell ya, what we had of this
evening.....
- a nerve-attack -an angry father
- sum shocks -140 kilometres in
- a cool concert the night
£
- a 'feuerwehr-wedel'
- and a report for this mag
that's all for now. hope ya enjoyed a
little bit.
jake
p.s. next time there will probably be
a report from the following con-
certs....
16.05. G.B.H. + RUMBLE MILITIA
19.05. ROCK HARD FESTIVAL
24.05. HARD-ONS (my brothers
birhtday)
so keep on slamming, rapping or whatever
ya do.....
News
brumm brumm fuckers!
this is jake of PULSAR with the ultimate
news-corner. here ya can read everything
about hardcore & thrash-metal. so let's
kick it (without v.i.p!!!)
-there will be a rock-hard festival in
BERLIN on 18.05 and in LICHTENFELS on
19.05. in berlin will play: amored
saint, blind guardian + special guest.
on the OPEN AIR in LICHTEFELS there
will play: obituary, kreator, blind
guardian, amored saint, morgoth &
overkill. be sure to be there!
-RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS changed their
record-label from emi to warner bros.
they will record their new album soon
under rick rubin (from def jam...yo!)
-death metal kings OBITUARY lost their
lead-guitarist james murphy. he is
now in the english band CANCER.
-THE GREAT KAT (the sick woman!) has
signed a lifelong deal with keith
rawis, who supported MEGADETH and
FLOTSAM & JETSAM.
-the best & funniest us-band MUCKY PUP
changed their basser mark d. baker
to junior (not from megadeth !!!)
-MORGOTH and KREATOR will attack usa
soon. amis, get ready for german death
and thrash-power!
-RUMBLE MILITIA were arrested in the usa
coz the corrupt police hold staffi
(an unshaved and long-haired greek)
for a terrorist. as ya know, hacki is
a turk and so he lives for every ami
in front of bagdad. fuck the cops!
-ACCU$ER have a 17 year old guitarist!
strange eh???
-PARDISE LOST released their second
lp 'gothic'.
-FAITH NO MORE's big sick ugly jim is
a psychopath (according to rock hard!)
-we (scatter and me) realized, that the
places of the upcoming tour of INCUBUS
and DISHARMONIC ORCHESTRA are very
funny....here they are:
hannover.........mad
koeln............rose club
waiblingen.......villa (wilder?) roller
bad woerishofen..u2 (hae???)
wels.............alter (!) schlachthof
(oesi-attack!)
frankfurt........negativ (aids?????)
dortmund.........fzw (Freies Zentrum
der Wahnsinnigen)
aue (ddr-uaarg!).tanztreffpunkt (hae??)
berlin...........surprise (ohne scheiss
kopenhagen.......tba (no comment!)
esbjerg (eisberg).aktivitethuset (ok!)
£
karsdorf.............clubhaus der (!)
zementwerker
prag.................no location!!!!
wien.................monsters of death
metal
tour contact: mad 030-7866844 berlin
this is no joke, just laughing reality!
-SEPULTURA captured the rock in rio
festival as a successor!
this was all from my side today! bye...
zementing jake....
Tests I
welcome to the DANCEFLOOR corner of
the record tests! this time we have a
lot of BRANDNEW and also a few classic
releases! chief-dj ROUGH also couldnt
hold back to test some pop songs to
turn them down... here we go:
ROXETTE/JOY RIDE...
well,what can you except from them!
another bullshit! the whole song sounds
maybe nice to poppers,but in my ears
it's only crap,the only 'nice' thing
is the whistling,hehe! i already saw
the public liked it as it got #1 in ge
rmany,it's a pity! 24%
STING/ENGLISHMAN IN NEW YORK-BL REMIX
bl stands for BEN LIEBRAND who is one
of the best remixers in the world and
comes from holland! he mixed up stings
songs with some fine instruments and
rhythms! especially outstanding is the
saxophone...this is already rather old
but rather cool,too! 71%
NIKKI D/DADDIE'S LITTLE GIRL
this song is probably of the most easi-
est made ever! they simply took the ba-
ssline from dna's 'tom's diner' includ-
ing some singsangs from suzanne vega!
mixed a female,nice rap voice and sum
additional extras to it and ready is
the new hit. the new hit? na,the song
sounds nice but from the tom's diner
theme the air is out already long time
a little bit too late,girl! 63%
JOEY B.ELLIS/I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE ONE
FOR ME
another cut from the ROCKY V theme by
joey! after his housebreaker GO FOR IT
a more softer song follows,the first
listening sounded very lame,but you've
to hear the tune more often and it re-
ally jumps in the ear by time! could be
a hit! if he goes on this way this guy
can be get as famous as others...
74%
MONIE LOVE VS ADEVA/RING MY BELL
what's that?! a coproduction between
monie and adeva...i say it at once:it's
fuckin' cool! monie love raps as great
as it would be for the last time and
adeva sings in voiceareas which sounds
so awesome...a groovy duo anyway! the
idea to build up the song like a fight
between both is also brilliant! not to
forget the sounds itself: a very dance
able song...check it out! 82%
CATHY DENNIS/TOUCH ME(ALL NIGHT LONG)
a nice danceable song with a white voi
ce! the singer cathy dennis worked as
far as i know in earlier times 2getha
with d-mob and had a hit with him! i
must really say she sings good but she
even looks damned good,that's what i
call a pretty one,suckaz! the rhythm
jumps in the ear! no hit but cool any
way 73%
2 IN A ROOM/SHE'S GOT ME GOING CRAZY
remember the 6 months old 'wiggle it'
still storming the pouser charts.this
succesor sounds familiar but that does
not mean it's a hit again! i think it
is too average 47%
SHADES OF RHYTHM/SWEET SENSATION
yeah,the first techno track for today
already let's my mind get more x-cited
the track is x-tremely danceable,the
female voice is cool,the background
new age effects suit perfect,these guys
will storm the charts soon,maybe not
with song,but they already proved with
other songs their first class quality
77%
i think techno will soon hit the charts
as klf (ambient house) already rides
forward to all the other GOOOD groups!
fuck swingbeat,chartdancefloorshit!
THE SHAMEN/HYPERREAL
yeaaaaaaaaaahhhhh,the shamen are back
with an extreeeemely cool tune! this
song is so awesome,techno from the fin
est side you can imagine! i think the
shamen even beats my personal favorite
RENEGADE SOUNDWAVE! also the three sha
men are very cool...the singer sings
extrakewl,the technician features his
damned kewl hairstyle and the female
voice looks damned cool,because she is
not styled in the normal 08/15 way like
every other singer... 87%
HYPNOTONE/YU-YU
techno tune#3 4 2day! well,this is more
an average song! the dancefeeling is
asskickin' like hell,but the kewlness
is missing! the video features some
nice gfx but the biggest joke is that 1
of the hypnotone guys all the time play
s that fuckin' gameboy shit in the vid-
eo! maybe lamers should think it's a
cool musicinstrument... 60%
brumm brumm condom fans!
guess who's back again? it's jake of
PULSAR to bring ya the latest lp-tests
from me and i guess, that we'll need
a lot of memory this time, coz i have
about twenty new records! so let's kick
it......
ANGKOR WAT - when obscenity becomes the
norm...awake!
a rather long title, eh? behind this
name, there are five guys, who play
thrash-hardcore with anti-war lyrics!
i think, this group could be very famous
if they had a better promoter, coz i
almost never heard of them before! but
for thrash fans and tolerant hardcore-
freax, i can say, that they should buy
this record!
rating...75%
BROKEN BONES - losing control
i think, this is the latest lp from the
broken bones, but don't kill me, if i
am not right! if ya're a skater, than
ya must the broken bones or ya're lame!
the music is very crossover-skate-thrash
like and the raw sound belongs to it!
but this lp can't beat their old ones!
bones...80%
CRYPTIC SLAUGHTER - money talks
yeah, this record is cult in the hard-
core scene! money talks...and people
listen! tampadam dudeldio! what should
i write about it? it's the first lp of
cryptic slaughter and don't compare it
to their new, coz the new one sucks in
compare with the old! the very raw voice
from the shouter fascinates me all the
time! listen this lp on rpm 45 and ya
think a cat is murdered! hehehe!
cats....95%
DEAD KENNEDYS - in god we trust inc.
this mini-lp of 'dk' is well known and
i think it's worth to know it! dead
kennedys rule anyway...and on every
record so let's only say one sentence...
nazi punks...fuck off!
bullets...95%
FAITH NO MORE - live at the brixton
academy!
yeah, i hear ya scream! and i guess,
that all rappers will also read this
test! so let's greet them with a loud
'yo!' okay, now to the record. it is
only a mini-lp, but with a playing time
of about 35 minutes and for a price of
about 10,- dm, i think it's worth to
buy it! i know, that rough doesn't like
my high ratings, but i guess, when i
give here 99%, he will be satisfied, too
or?? yo's......99%
SEPULTURA - under siege!
no no, this is not the new record of
sepultura, which i promised in the last
issue, but it's a maxi with three songs!
one of the coming lp, a cover-version
of motorhead (orgasmatron!) and an old
song from their first lp. i guess, this
is only a piece for die-hard sepultura
fans! the others may wait for the new
longplayer!
rating...80%
SACRED REICH - alive at the dynamo
a ruling and old live lp from sacred
reich! i guess, i bought a lot of mini-
lp's this month! okay, there are the
ruling songs, like surf nicaragua or
death squad on it, and that says all...
banging power total!
rating...85%
now some cult punk-lp's...
WALTER ELF - heut' oder nie!
the first one of walter elf! best songs:
zahnarzt, willi und das bier, diese
stadt.
WALTER ELF - die angst des tormanns beim
elfmeter!
the second one of walter elf! best songs
are: ramstein fluchtag, spaetzuender,
robert du depp!
WALTER ELF - homo sapiens
the third one of walter elf. best songs:
acht zylinder, nachts schlag ich meine
freundin!
walter elf is' the second from the
spermbirds-drummer. they play funny &
melody punk with german lyrics. for all
three records (i bought them all at one
time!) there is the same rating!
rating...95%
SCHLIESSMUSKEL - untergang der abend-
laendischen kultur.
their first one and i guess, that there
they play sum kind strange punk. any-
way, it's cool, but ya can't compare
it to the new records! the songs are
like always very funny, but the sound-
quality is very bad (like a demo-tape!)
but anyway....cool piece!
rating...80%
DEUTSCH PUNK - kampflieder
yeah, that's what i need! nazis must die
on this sampler, there are twenty songs
of about eight german punk bands, like
slime (the best!), toxoplasma, sluts,
daily terror and sum others. but slime
rules with their songs...deutschland
muss sterben, stoertebeker, polizei-
sa-ss, bullenschweine. i love this cd!
and for 17,- dm very cheap for a cd!
rating...90%
now back to the normal international
bands....
MORDRED - in this life
i guess, that faith no more will get
concurrence! this record is also very
rappy and with a lot a scratch-effects!
they can't beat f.n.m. but .....out
of words!
rating...85%
JELLO BIAFRA & NO MEANS NO - the sky is
falling and
jello biafra, the shouter i want my
of the former dead kennedys mommy!
is here in co-op with no
means no. sum songs remind me on the old
dead kennedys, but sum others are very
experimentive. strange piece, but it
fits to me, i guess!
no rating here!
DARK ANGEL - time does not heal
yeah, finally they made it. after the
lame 'leave scars' record, they released
this masterpiece of good thrash. ya
must BUY this record, coz if ya copy it
ya need two sides of a 90 minutes cass-
ette. the exact playing time is: 65
minutes and 34 seconds. for thrashers
only!
rating...80%
£
ADDICTIVE - pity of men
i guess, that nobody have ever heard of
this band! now sum infos about 'em. they
come from australia and play speed-
thrash. this is their first lp and i
guess, that they will get the testament
of METALLICA, coz they beat everyhting
what i heard before for their first lp!
genial riffs and....ah, listen to it!
addictive rules!
rating...95%
Tests II
ICED EARTH - iced earth
in rock hard, they wrote, that this is
the best speed-record of the month. as
i don't hear so much speed-metal (except
addictive, hehehe!) i can't say it so
objective, if this is so cool. but after
the reactions in our local metal-pub,
the guys like it. i think, the songs
are a bit too long, but who gives a fuck
anyway???
rating...70%
DESPAIR - decay of humanity
the only thing, i can say to this record
is, that the first of despair ruled
more, but everbody says, that they were
better, when robert kampf left them
one year ago! again i must say, who
gives a fuck about it??
rating...75%
LUDICHRIST - powertrip
all good condom-readers know, what will
come now! LUDICHRIST rules! finally i
found their second lp in a little record
store in erlangen. but what must my
ears hear? no hardcore, but thrashcore!
i think, that's not so good, but this
record is anyway cool, coz it's from
ludichrist. if ya don't understand the
meaning of my strange sentences, then
pleeze notice, that it is about 1.05 am
and i am fucking tired. so let's come
to a quick end, coz i wanna sleep (till
brooklyn???)
rating...85%
X-MAS PROJECT - sampler
hahaha, this record is the party-boom!
play the songs on yer next x-mas-party
in school and ya'll see what happens!
on this sampler, there are bands like
rage, living death, holy moses and some
others, who play traditional chrismas-
songs, like 'leise rieselt der schnee',
'jingle bells' etc. i give no rating
again, coz this no real record, but a
lot of fun!
RUMBLE MILITIA - destroy fascism
yeah, again a nice release by the bremer
rumble militia-gang. on this record,
there are eight songs. four of them are
live recorded after a bloody fight
against fucking skinheads and the other
four songs are no nazis, nazis raus! (by
slime!!!), liebe and a.m.f.! the special
thing on this lp is, that rumble recorde
sum nazi-skins, who talked on the
phone to staffi (he's a turk!!) and
the voices of them ya can hear on this
record before the songs 'nazis raus!'
be sure to meet me at rumble militia +
g.b.h. concert in may! nazis must die!
rating...90%
i guess, that was all! i am fucking
tired, so let me sleep and leave this
corner! bye bye, yers
jake
i just slept over by tireness and now i
am back with sum record tests....
HARD-ONS - yummy!
well, i guess, that imbecil had tested
this record two issues ago and he said
that it's a real cool hardcore-thing!
so i slammed in my usual record-store
and robbed (joking!) this hard-ons lp.
and i must say, that they are very cool
and remind me a little bit to 'jingo de
lunch'. very melody songs and not
typical hardcore, but anyway....cool!
rating...80%
TOY DOLLS - fat bobs feet
hahaha, i just can't finish laughing!
rough told me on the phone, that toy
dolls is a very cool english fun-punk
band. so i checked it out, and bought
me their new lp 'fat bobs feet'. and
guess, what's it. it's so cool, that
everyone, who heard it, wants to have
it. that means, that my brother storms
in and gave me a tape to copy it (he's
10 years old!!!) and sum girlies from
my job-school also want to have it
(hi corinna!!!) well as i told ya, ya
must hear it. 'i woke up this morning
and go the blues all day.....the toy
dolls started playing, and i ain't got
the blues! coooooool...
dolls...95%
WALTONS - thrust in the vile
have ya ever heard of a music-style,
called country-punk??? well, the waltons
(cool name!!!) play it. they are three
guys, with the names jim-bob, john-boy
and jake-bob (ehhh?????) well, anyway
this record is sumthing for long car-
journeys (to venlo???) to feel the
country-groove in yer ass!
cows....90%
and now, we present to the end, sumthing
which is better than SLAYER and will
soon capture the whole thrash-scene....
SEPULTURA - arise
i told ya last time, that i will test it
in the next issue and i made it. they
released their fourth lp 'arise' and i
guess, that this lp is the thrash-lp of
the year! SLAYER will have their probs
when SEPULTURA will support them on the
upcoming tour. this is the second lp,
which deserves this month 99 percents.
buy it or die in brasil! sepultura rules
in 1991!
phew, that was it this month for my
lp tests. i didn't tested all of my new
records, coz i guess, that the menory
will fuck up. i still have five or six
new ones, but i am to lazy to name them
here! signing off here....
jake
yes, skinny puppy are back! after they
dissolved the group the single dudes of
skinny puppy got problems in earning
money. they therefore rebuilt their old
canadian ebm/techno group skinny puppy.
and they kept the style they played on
tin omen first.
the whole cd consists of 10 songs and
the cd is about 38 minutes long.
first of all i give you the hint to buy
the cd 'cause there's no pause between
the songs so you must programme the
songs if you want to copy only one song
to tape.
the booklet is very well designed. the
are their usual weird pictures (like a
very big green worm). the cd is produced
by using 'add' which means pretty good
quality. but let's come back to the
songs. the tracks are called convulsion,
tormentor, spasmolytic, rash reflection,
nature's revenge, shore line poison,
grave wisdom, tfwo, morpheus laughing
and reclamation. my favourite songs are
convulsion, nature's revenge, grave
wisdom and morpheus laughing. skinny
puppy is still as chaotic as in earlier
times. the singer uses his usually
computerized voice and there is the
(usual) noise with guitar riffs. but
their style is simply fantastic. skinny
puppy is the canadian version of ein-
stuerzende neubauten. skinny puppy uses
metal and garbage, too! the texts are
presented in the cover. but i must say
that it is very hard to read because of
the strange writing. neither you won't
understand much of the singer if you
don't read the texts.
anyway, it is a very fresh cd which you
should buy 'cause it's completely to the
usual ebm/techno stuff.
my personal rating: text: 80 per cent
music: 100 per cent
booklet: 60 per cent
sodom of akrak
here come sum new tests written by the
imbecil!
first let's start it off with a ratity:
a SUICIDAL BOOTLEG from the year 1983
recorded live in l.a.
lately rough and me were stomping thru
a record-market looking at the boxes ful
of records. rough suddenly stopped turn-
ing the records and took out something
very familliar. guess what ! the suici-
dal bootleg. as i am one of the biggest
suicidal tendencies on this planet i
bought this piece. now to the content.
at home i put it in. it isn't the master
piece i had thought it would be, but it
could have been worse. the quality is
a bit bad, but the songs are well. at
that time (1983) the suicidals had not
been one of the best technic bands, as
they are today. for 30DM i want more
than this. so...
rating... 60%
the next one is
THE PLAGUE from NUCLEAR ASSAULT
this piece was recorded in '87 and is
a MINI-LP. now about the music: the re-
cord contains 6 tracks, not boring at
all. one instrumental, not bad. pure
thrash from england. my favorite song
is BUTT FUCK, it is the fastest on the
record and very well composed.
rating... 75%
what comes next?
TIME'S UP from LIVING COLOUR
living colour came on the scene with the
first lp VIVID, and they were regarded
now with their second album 'time's up
they made the final breakthrough. they
mix metal with funk and reggae. this lp
is one of my favorites and goes for
every man on earth. one thing about the
song 'love rears its ugly head': a dance
able version came out. it sounds awful.
the lp-version is the best. rating: 90%
£TESTAMENT with PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH
this one came out in '89. i had not been
a testament fan till i bought this one
just for fun, as i found nothing better.
and it was worth buying. testament has
got one big theme on this lp: nature.
there are songs like 'greenhouse effect'
that want to say how bad we hurt nature.
i hadn't thought the testament arranges
themselves for such themes.music: thrash
,of course,verygood voice of chuck billy
rating: 80%
now a resently released album:
MORBID ANGEL with BLESSED ARE THE SICK
you can compare morbid angel to NAPALM
DEATH. both are heavy mosh bands, na.de.
is still a little bit harder. so if you
are a mosher this album is a must.
rating: 85%
Adds
sum advertisments......
wanna trade HARDCORE, CROSSOVER and PUNk
tapes? then contact the one and only
jake/PULSAR
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
(also if ya wanna have the condom every
month!)
DEUTSCHLAND, ERSTICKE AN DEM WAS DU AUS-
GEKOTZT HAST, AN UNS!!!
----------------------------------------
do you search for a die-hard GENESIS &
phil collins fan, then try this.....
p.r.i./DEPREDATORS
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
(also for manta-jokes, hehehehe!)
£
FOR SWAPPING EBM,HARDCORE,PUNK,THRASH
TAPES
or everything about
CONDOM
try...
rough/chromance
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
poppers,loosers and fashists may lay
down and die...hehe!
Special Reports
'ELLO BROTHAZ!
theeze are the concert repots in this
edition! i dont know how many we gonna
get but it should be enuff...
BLUE KILLA concert in FEIERWERK/MUNICH
oops,hope i can remember that coz it's
already a few weeks ago,blue killa is
a SKA band and ska is one of the most
exciting music styles nowadays! well
RICO,ZWERG,VAMPIRE and me went to that
fuckin' place by train together with
sum other dudes and a lot of girls who
we met on a trainstation! the trip was
very nerving,because zwerg just has sha
ved his head and had only a flat and
everybody wanted to see and kidded him
a little bit! well,we went there and i
was very bored,because some of these
girls were very arrogant bitches! i ha
te that and i nearly couldnt hold back
to say my opinion,first it was extremly
boring,they showed a film about america
ska bands and their concert,which maybe
was interesting but not that good at
all! after a long time BLUE KILLA star
ted to play and guess what?! from the
first minute on we danced,raved and
grooved like a fire,we four together
did a cool job and they played all the
ir AWESOME tunes like CAMELMAN,WERBUNG
SKASHIP ENTERPRISE and we danced,sweat
ed,like a fever,like a dream! only fun!
and then their last song came,we just
were making a little drinkbreak when
they played 'WICKIE UND DIE STARKEN
MAENNER' i took zwerg,threw him into
the masses and pogued him down like he
ll,after he was a little bit surprised
he realized all and started to pogue
back xtremely hard,i nearly couldnt
stand anymore! it was so awesome! i
must say that this was ONE when not THE
best concerts i've ever been on! after
the gig we walked to the train a guy
called LOCKENPUNK found a gas spray in
VAMPIRE's jacket! he took it along to
fight against skins or turkey gangs if
they would attack us! and this ass said
'uh! what's that?'! i turned around +
guess what?! he sprayed in the air and
me and a girl got it into our faces !
aaargh! 10 minutes of tearing and cry
ing! believe me guys,it's no nice feel
ing! he xcused after at least! on the
trip home we had nothing special xcept
i talked a little bit to the other che
eks who were very nice'n pretty in fact
ha! i first thought they were arrogant
too! but wrong,roughy! we also met one
of our teachers in the train(at 1 a.m)
wondering where he has been....?! any
way good nite i say now!
the next one is a report about a little
festival down here in EBERSBERG! the
aim of it was to earn money to buy a
part of the amazonas wood which still
gets destroyed by MEGASTUPID UNHUMAN
PIGS...i'm no peacefucker,but it is
reckless not to fight against it!
well now to the report,there were four
bands...A SCHOOL BAND
JIM JAMS
HAUSALARM
OVERDRIVE
the whole fuck began at 7pm(!) and the
school band started! lotsa little chil
dren were there and listened to that
crap,they used their instruments good
but they covered old 60'-songs! fuck
teds! "a good start" after 3/4 hour the
formation JIM JAMS began! the singer
SAM is a good friend to me and he told
me one time that they play blues music
so i didnt expect too much! but what ca
me was a mixture of rock,bluess and ha
rdcore,a perfect CROSSOVER...
i really loved their STYLE,the singer
also danced around on the stage in a
very funny way,which increased the cr
owds's mood,but the both guitarists on
ly stood around like stupid which de-
creased it back,hehe! anyway they were
very good! the only thing which was dis
turbing me were some prolo farmer meta
llers who were headbanging in front of
the stage! bwark! at 9pm the already
known punk formation HAUSALARM started
to play! they were mighty scared of get
ting blamed because the other two bands
before played very good(not the style,
but using their instruments) and haus-
alarm was only a simple punkpogoband!
but their reputation has flown them be
fore! already with the 1st song a lit-
tle crowd began to pogue...the first
song was LONELY BOY by the cure???!!!
poging to the cure??! then they played
1-2 "slow" songs(for they conditions!)
then the real smashers came,the covered
songs like FRAGGLES from the tv series
MARMOR,STEIN und EISEN BRICHT the old
song and ESPECIALLY COOOL they covered
slime's BULLENSCHWEINE! while i pogued
around the schoolspeaker of the school
where the gig took place entered the
stage (the school speaker is a pure pu
nk,kewel) and shouted into the mic...
BULLENSCHWEINE,BULLENSCHWEINE IN DER
GANZEN WELT and so on and at the end he
added SCHWEINE,IHR! hahaha! all in all
HAUSALARM brought the most fun on this
evening! after that a complete bullshit
entered...OVERDRIVE! first they poused
the logo OVERKILL and then they pla-
yed some FARMER SHIT WUERG KOTZ BILLIG
METAL,baaaaeehhh! nobody listened to
them anyway,hehe! after that we went to
fetch some pizza,first we arsed the
pizzamen by saying 'avanti,avanti!' and
so on and then some of us didnt buy
their stuff,hehe! when we went back we
saw a policecar in front of the skool
because a stupid little psycho has be-
aten up two little kids,aaaaargh! oops
the side is out,that's it suckbrains!
yo pals !!
open your eyes, hold your breath, cause
here it comes :
the TOY DOLLS concert report from the
17.04.91 in the theaterfabrik in munich!
let's hit it :
i (imbecil) met some of my friends (7)
in the train to munich. some of 'em yet
had had a beer and were slightly tipsy.
we had some silly talks till we were
there. in unterfoehring we had to walk
some minutes till we arrived at the
THEATERFABRIK, a big let's say disco. as
we entered some bulls made a bodily
search for sharp things. then we were in
as we had arrived much too early, we sat
down and ate sumthin. after about one
hour the lights went out and LUSTFINGER,
a german band, entered the stage. with
the first song, as we wanted much fun
this night we started pogueing around.
the mood rised and after about 5 songs
it was over. some minutes passed, then
a intro was heard, we all knew:the intro
from the new toy dolls album FAT BOB'S
FEET (look also in the test corner) !!
then there was a big 'toy dolls, toy
dolls' from the crowd. they entered,olga
first in line. all toy dolls (3 in all)
wore some sun-glasses, a yellow t-shirt
and black trousers. they began playing
and the mood was on top level in the
whole theaterfabrik. noone stood around
without moving,jumping,moshing,pogueing
or smashing. the worst thing was, that,
between th songs, they didn't make any
break, not a second. i was down after
let's say 5 songs of pogueing. after sum
other songs there was a break, in which
the two guitar-players played two banjos
on their knees. also while this, some
still jumped around in the crowd. i went
the the bathroom to wash off the sweat
in my face. then it was to go out again.
they had nearly yet again begun. i was
£no second too late.after another group
of songs i suddenly missed my friends.
they had all gone to the seat-places,
cause they were all in. no condition, i
say. after having drunk a SPEZI, mixture
of coke and fizzy drink, three of us, me
amoung them, got down in frontof the
stage again and had fun till the end of
the concert. the toy dolls had to play
3 extra songs, till the crowd was satis-
fied. after the concert all rushed out.
we had to stay on the platform for 'bout
15 minutes at a temperature of 5 degrees
as our trousers,t-shrits and pullovers
were wet from the sweat, they nearly be-
gan to freeze. it was awful. afer coming
home i took a shower and tried to sleep
afterwards, but i couldn't. i was too
excited.
if TOY DOLLS should ever come to your
town, you MUST be there. you won't get
a better concert ever. reminder: look in
the tours corner for their world tour...
Bullshit
this is for ANOTHER TIME the BULLSHIT corner... we should have got some JOKES by PRI of DEPREDATORS,but they didn't arrive somehow! anyway i try to squeeze some out of my brain... (sorry 4 german only,but the jokes sou- nd better that way!) faehrt der KOHL mit der hannelore nach afrika und sie machen'ne safari durch den dschungel! auf einmal sieht die ha nnelore elefanten und fragt den helmut 'was sind den das fuer tiere?' 'dangerus' sagt dieser! kommen die bei- den an giraffen vorbei und sie fragt wieder was das fuer ein tier ist! sa gt der kohl wieder 'dangerus'! fahren sie weiter und kommen an einer horde affen vorbei und die hannelore fragt wieder und der kohl sagt wieder 'danger us' jetzt will die hannelore aber wis- sen warum der helmut weiss das alle ti ere dangerus sind,sagt der kohl 'ja,ga nz einfach! auf dem schild da vorne st and ALL ANIMAL ARE DANGEROUS! joke?! kommt der kohl von einer safari nach hause zurueck und trifft nen alten kum pel 'hallo helmut,wie war's den in afr ika?' 'ja,sehr gut' 'und hast auch was erlegt auf jagden' 'ja,natuerlich, 'viele notmes' fragt der freund 'was ist den das,notmes?' 'ja,das sind so kleine schwarze viecher,die schrein im mer 'not me!' 'not me'! was ist das,es ist 50 meter lang und hat noch keine schamhaare ??????? DIE ERSTE REIHE IM NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK konzert! huhuahahahahahaahah! yo,zisch dir noch'n bier!!!!! £ uraltjoke... kommt der kleine hansi zum baecker und sagt 'bitte 99 semmeln'. sagt der bae- cker 'ja,warum nimmts nicht gleich 100? 'sinds bloed oder was,wer soll den die vielen semmeln essen?' hoho!... good advice for WORLD NEWS readers... catch the girl - kiss the girl - fuck the girl...sounds easier to me than that chapter SUNDRIES...?! SEE YOU,PALS ROUGH of CHROMANCE signs off...
