http://c64mags.untergrund.net/wiki/index.php?action=history&feed=atom&title=The_Link_15_Guru_Talk 2026-04-27T00:54:43Z Revision history for this page on the wiki MediaWiki 1.19.0 http://c64mags.untergrund.net/wiki/index.php?title=The_Link_15_Guru_Talk&diff=6396&oldid=prev 2013-01-13T01:48:23Z

<p>Created page with &quot;&lt;pre&gt;GURU&#039;S CHAPTER by GURU/TSR this month i will be conitinuing the article about real programmers that i started last month norry has short arms THE...&quot;</p> <p><b>New page</b></p><div>&lt;pre&gt;GURU'S CHAPTER<br /> <br /> <br /> by GURU/TSR<br /> <br /> <br /> this month i will be conitinuing the<br /> article about real programmers that i<br /> started last month<br /> <br /> <br /> norry has short arms<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> THE REAL PROGRAMMER AT WORK<br /> <br /> the typical RP wouldn't be caught<br /> dead writing accountant programmes in<br /> cobol or sorting mailing lists for<br /> PEOPLE magazine. an RP would work at a<br /> place like,<br /> <br /> los alamos lab,writing simulation for<br /> atomic bombs<br /> national security agency decoding the<br /> russian transmissions<br /> it was the work of 1000's of RPs that<br /> got us to the moon before the ruskies<br /> work for boeing,with cruise missiles<br /> some of the most awesome RPs work at<br /> the jet labs in california,many know the<br /> op sys off by hearts and have managed to<br /> program bit of space junk to hit rows of<br /> residencial windows after 6 years in<br /> space<br /> <br /> one current plan is for a spacecraft<br /> to pass within 80 km (+/-3) of the sur-<br /> face of mars,no-one is going to trust a<br /> pascal programme(r)to do this<br /> <br /> oh and by the way,real programmers<br /> can write fortran programmes in any<br /> language<br /> THE REAL PROGRAMMER AT PLAY<br /> <br /> a real programmer often plays the<br /> same way he works,with computers<br /> <br /> tips on RP's at play:<br /> at a party,RP's are talking about op<br /> sys security and how to get around it<br /> at a footy game, RPs are comparing res-<br /> ults with predictions on fanfold paper<br /> at the beach,RP's drawflowcharts in the<br /> sand<br /> at the funeral,RP's are saying &quot;poor<br /> george,&amp;amp; he almost got that sort routine<br /> working before the coronary&quot;<br /> in the grocery store the RP is the one<br /> who insists on running the cans over the<br /> laser check himself,because he couldn't<br /> ever trust keypunch operators to get it<br /> right first time<br /> ----------<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> RP'S HABITAT<br /> <br /> surrounding an RP's computer is,<br /> <br /> listing of all the programmes he has<br /> ever worked on<br /> some half filled cups of cold coffee,<br /> occasionally, the cups will contain<br /> orange juice<br /> copies of the os jcl manual open at the<br /> interesting pages<br /> lineprinter snoopy calender for 1969<br /> wrappings for snacks<br /> an old old flowchart template, real prog<br /> ramers write programes,not documents<br /> an RP is capable of working 30,40 even<br /> 50 hours at a stretch under intense pres<br /> sure,in fact,he prefers in that way.<br /> <br /> bad response time doesn't bother him,<br /> it gives him sleep time in between com-<br /> piles<br /> <br /> if their isn't much pressure on him for<br /> a particular job,the RP makes it inter-<br /> esting by working on a small, interest-<br /> ing part of the programme for the first<br /> nine weeeks and finishing the rest in<br /> the last week<br /> <br /> GENERALLY<br /> no RP works 9 to 5(unless its at night)<br /> <br /> RP's dont wear ties<br /> RP's don't wear high heeled shoes<br /> RP's arrive at work in time for lunch<br /> <br /> RP's might not even know their spouses<br /> name,but they know the entire ASCII<br /> alphabet<br /> <br /> RP's don't know how to cook,shops aren't<br /> open at 3 in the morning,so they survive<br /> on mars bars and coffee<br /> <br /> THE FUTURE<br /> <br /> RP's are concerned about the future,<br /> high school leavers can't do hex maths<br /> without a calculator, college grads are<br /> getting degrees without even seeing<br /> fortran<br /> <br /> however there is still a demand for RP's<br /> and their legend will continue with the<br /> latest unix upgrade ie,2 completely<br /> incompatible user interfaces,and with<br /> 'C',beside the fact that it is structure<br /> it can be appreciated,it's like having<br /> the best bits of fortran and assembly<br /> thrown in to one. yes the future isn't<br /> looking too bad for RP's<br /> <br /> as long as there are ill-defined goals<br /> bizarre bugs,and unrealistic schedules,<br /> there will always be a real programer<br /> willing to jump in and solve the problem<br /> and leave the documentation for later<br /> long live fortran!!!!!!<br /> <br /> <br /> anon<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> guru is back.<br /> <br /> <br /> good artcile eh? if you want the full<br /> article, write to me with about $1 for<br /> photocopies,and i'll send it to you,or<br /> you can get the 1986 your computer year<br /> book<br /> <br /> thats enough from me.<br /> <br /> hooroo from the guru<br /> <br /> three-tree-slo-toth&lt;/pre&gt;</div>

Jazzcat