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		<title>Jazzcat: Created page with &quot;&lt;pre&gt;welcome to this issue of humor and laugh thanks to all those who have supplied the following items.  we hope that you get something out of this section,as it is meant to ...&quot;</title>
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				<updated>2013-01-09T10:36:56Z</updated>
		
		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Created page with &amp;quot;&amp;lt;pre&amp;gt;welcome to this issue of humor and laugh thanks to all those who have supplied the following items.  we hope that you get something out of this section,as it is meant to ...&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;New page&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div&gt;&amp;lt;pre&amp;gt;welcome to this issue of humor and laugh&lt;br /&gt;
thanks to all those who have supplied&lt;br /&gt;
the following items.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
we hope that you get something out of&lt;br /&gt;
this section,as it is meant to make you&lt;br /&gt;
have a laugh and forget all about you&lt;br /&gt;
problems.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
this section is not meant to run anyone&lt;br /&gt;
or any race down.  it is only meant to&lt;br /&gt;
be a fun section.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
so sit back and have a laugh on us.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
what do you call a BLONDE with a dollar&lt;br /&gt;
on her head?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
all you can EAT for under a BUCK&lt;br /&gt;
----------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;
two irishmen were waiting outside an&lt;br /&gt;
office for an interview.  the first one&lt;br /&gt;
went in and the boss asked him which was&lt;br /&gt;
left hand and which was his right hand.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
taking a lucky guess he came up with the&lt;br /&gt;
right answer and got a job.  on the way&lt;br /&gt;
out the irishman gave his fellow country&lt;br /&gt;
man a quick piece of advice.  all he&lt;br /&gt;
asks you is &amp;quot;which is my left hand and&lt;br /&gt;
which is my right.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
so the other irishman walks confidently&lt;br /&gt;
into the office and sits down,but he&lt;br /&gt;
notices that the boss is over by the&lt;br /&gt;
hand basin washing his hands.  &amp;quot;rotten&lt;br /&gt;
bugger&amp;quot; says the irishman,&amp;quot;he's bloody&lt;br /&gt;
shuffling them.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
----------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;
why should you go shopping with a BLONDE&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
because you can park in the handicapped&lt;br /&gt;
zone&lt;br /&gt;
----------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;
what do you call a BLONDE with a bag of&lt;br /&gt;
sugar on her head?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
SWEET FUCK ALL&lt;br /&gt;
----------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;
what do BLONDES wear behind their ears&lt;br /&gt;
to attrack men?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
their ankles&lt;br /&gt;
----------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;
what does a BLONDE and a computer have&lt;br /&gt;
in common?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
you don't know their value until they go&lt;br /&gt;
down on you.&lt;br /&gt;
----------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;
sent in by BLADE/SYSTEM&lt;br /&gt;
-----------------------&lt;br /&gt;
there was a bear and a rabbit taking a&lt;br /&gt;
SHIT in the woods.  the bear turned to&lt;br /&gt;
the rabbit and said &amp;quot;do you rabbits have&lt;br /&gt;
a problem with SHIT sticking to your fir&lt;br /&gt;
the rabbit replied &amp;quot;no&amp;quot;  so the bear&lt;br /&gt;
wiped his ARSE with the rabbit.&lt;br /&gt;
----------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;
sent in by BANDIT/TOXIK&lt;br /&gt;
-----------------------&lt;br /&gt;
there was an IRISHMAN an ENGLISHMAN and&lt;br /&gt;
an AUSTRALIAN all standing on the edge&lt;br /&gt;
of the EMPIRE state building.  the IRISH&lt;br /&gt;
MAN said &amp;quot;i bet you,i have got a bigger&lt;br /&gt;
dick than all of you!&amp;quot;  so he stuck out&lt;br /&gt;
his dick and said &amp;quot;1 whole story&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
the POMMIE stuck his dick out and yelled&lt;br /&gt;
out &amp;quot;2 stories!&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
the OZZIE walked up and stuck out his&lt;br /&gt;
dick.  all of a sudden he started to&lt;br /&gt;
jump around.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;what's wrong?&amp;quot;  the other 2 asked.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;nothing&amp;quot; replied the OZZIE,&amp;quot;i'm trying&lt;br /&gt;
to duck the traffic below.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
----------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;
7 dwarfs where all in the bath feeling&lt;br /&gt;
happy.  so happy got out.&lt;br /&gt;
----------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;
there were 7 dwarfs,all taking a vaction&lt;br /&gt;
in tasmania for a few weeks.  on arrival&lt;br /&gt;
back in nsw,happy went to a priest to&lt;br /&gt;
ask a question?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
he asked the priest &amp;quot;are there any two&lt;br /&gt;
foot nuns in tasmania&amp;quot;  the priest said&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;no&amp;quot;.  happy asked again &amp;quot;are there any&lt;br /&gt;
2 foot nuns in tasmania?&amp;quot;  to which the&lt;br /&gt;
priest replied &amp;quot;no there aren't&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
happy asked &amp;quot;are you sure?&amp;quot;  the priest&lt;br /&gt;
replied &amp;quot;definetly not&amp;quot;.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
happy turned around to the other dwarfs&lt;br /&gt;
and said &amp;quot;DOPEY FUCKED A PENGIUN,DOPEY&lt;br /&gt;
FUCKED A PENGIUN!&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
----------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;
what job did the BLONDE do at the m&amp;amp;amp;m&lt;br /&gt;
factory?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
PROOF READER&lt;br /&gt;
----------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;
what is a BLONDES mating call?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
oh,hell i'm pissed.&lt;br /&gt;
----------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;
what's the difference between a BLONDE &amp;amp;amp;&lt;br /&gt;
the TITANIC?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
you know how many went down on the&lt;br /&gt;
TITANIC.&lt;br /&gt;
----------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;
what does a BLONDE and a beer bottle&lt;br /&gt;
have in common?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
both are empty from the neck up.&lt;br /&gt;
----------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;
this one should give you a good laugh,it&lt;br /&gt;
is called THE NEW PADRE&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
at his church service,the new PADRE was&lt;br /&gt;
so scared,he could hardly speak.  after&lt;br /&gt;
the sermon,he asked his commanding&lt;br /&gt;
officer how he had done.  the officer&lt;br /&gt;
said fine,but next time it might help if&lt;br /&gt;
you put a little more vodka or gin in&lt;br /&gt;
your glass to help you relax.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
the next sunday the PADRE buut vodka in&lt;br /&gt;
his glass and really talked up a storm.&lt;br /&gt;
again he asked his commanding officer,&lt;br /&gt;
how he had done.  the commander said&lt;br /&gt;
fine,but there are a few things you&lt;br /&gt;
should get sorted out:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1. there are ten commandments not twelve&lt;br /&gt;
2. there were twelve disciples not ten.&lt;br /&gt;
3. DAVID slew GOLIATH.  he did not kick&lt;br /&gt;
   the guts out of him.&lt;br /&gt;
4. we do not refer to JESUS CHRIST as&lt;br /&gt;
   the late J.C.&lt;br /&gt;
5. next sunday there is a taffy pulling&lt;br /&gt;
   contest at ST PETERS,not a peter&lt;br /&gt;
   pulling contest at st. taffy's.&lt;br /&gt;
6. the FATHER,SON and HOLY GHOST are not&lt;br /&gt;
   referred to as BIG DADDY,JUNIOR and&lt;br /&gt;
   the SPOOK.&lt;br /&gt;
7. adam was not offered a TIT-BIT by eve&lt;br /&gt;
   she tempted him with an apple.&lt;br /&gt;
8. moses was hidden in the BULL RUSHES,&lt;br /&gt;
   not left in the SHIT by the rushing&lt;br /&gt;
   bulls.&lt;br /&gt;
9. contary to popular belief,in biblical&lt;br /&gt;
   days,not all girls became PREGNANT.&lt;br /&gt;
   some of them had to die before being&lt;br /&gt;
   STUFFED and turned into MUMMIES.&lt;br /&gt;
10.when the service ended,you should&lt;br /&gt;
   have said &amp;quot;MAY YOU GO IN PEACE&amp;quot;not&lt;br /&gt;
   &amp;quot;NOW YOU CAN ALL PISS OFF&amp;quot;.&lt;br /&gt;
----------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;
hope you have enjoyed these jokes,there&lt;br /&gt;
are designed to relax all those who read&lt;br /&gt;
them.  thanks goes to all those who sent&lt;br /&gt;
in their jokes.&amp;lt;/pre&amp;gt;&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Jazzcat</name></author>	</entry>

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